Inside This Issue Editorial: Finding a Family in Our Conference Calendar The 2004 Affirmation Writing Awards Contest Women's Retreat in Portland: Register Today! What's New at This Year's Conference? Affirmation Conference Held in Mexico City Affirmation Couples Get Married First Meeting for Denver Chapter Announced Mailing List Serves Transgendered Mormons Gay Returned Missionaries Celebrate Common Ground

Editorial: Finding a Family in Our Conference

By James Morris, Assistant Director

When I think of home and family, I like to think of a place where you are always welcome, where you can be yourself, where you receive love and acceptance. Unfortunately for some, this may not describe their birth family, but I hope it resembles their Affirmation family.

I'm very happy to be working on the Affirmation 2004 Conference, which after many years is returning to San Francisco. Our conference committee is putting together an exciting conference that I hope will above all feel like a welcoming home. Like many conference goers, I find that interesting cities make for a great background to annual conferences, but it is the people, from longtime acquaintances to new fascinating attendees, who are the biggest reason I look forward to these gatherings.

The very first conference I attended was in San Francisco, and being new to Affirmation and being only semi-out, I found ways to hide behind tasks and shied away from interaction. When I happened to run into a former missionary companion of mine I did everything but run the other direction. His comment was "I wondered when I'd see you at one of these events." I stumbled through an introduction of my then-boyfriend and somehow managed to avoid him for the rest of the conference.

We had, in fact, been very close in the mission field. He was my second junior companion, and though my senior in age (he had entered the mission field after military duty) I felt like a big brother to him, trying to help him adjust to the challenges of a foreign culture and a language he found impossible to grasp. Though not long in the field, he had already had bad experiences with some of the other elders and was very discouraged. I wanted to turn that around.

Together we did turn that around. Grueling tasks like door-to-door drudgery became fun and entertaining. We began to have more lessons and investigators. And as our friendship grew I knew there was something he tried to share with me that he felt he couldn't. He made a few attempts, but would then leave it with some advice he'd been given by a college professor: "Better to reveal yourself bit by bit."

For the whole year after that San Francisco Conference, I tried to understand why I had failed to connect with this individual from my past. There would have been so much to discuss--so much to learn about him and about myself in reviewing that incredible shared moment in time. I was determined to meet up with him at the next Affirmation conference in Salt Lake City. What a shock to learn of his passing.

I was 100% invested in being there at that SLC conference. I was energized, alive, and soaking it all in. It was a powerful experience. I initiated some incredible and enduring friendships. And in the middle of it all, while floating on my back in the pool, I thought of the one who couldn't be there, and resolved at the time to never squander these conference opportunities.

We look forward to welcoming you this October to our Affirmation home and are thrilled with all the opportunities this occasion can offer for sharing, connecting, understanding and growing.



Share Your Story! Speak Your Truth!
The 2004 Affirmation Writing Awards Contest

By John-Charles Duffy

As gay Mormons, we come from a tradition that places a high value on preserving personal histories (journals, genealogy) and speaking the truth of one's own experience (testimony, personal revelation). For four years, the Affirmation Writing Awards Contest has given GLBT people from Mormon backgrounds the chance to do just that: to preserve our personal histories and to speak the truth of our experiences.

This year's controversy over same-sex marriage shows that many people's attitudes towards gays and lesbians have changed dramatically for the better. That change has a lot to do with the fact that gay/lesbian people have been telling their stories, overcoming stereotypes and prejudice by letting others see the realities of our lives.

The Affirmation Writing Awards Contest recognizes non-fiction writing on subjects of importance to the GLBT community. Obviously there are many subjects that fit that description. Without intending to limit the possibilities, here are a few questions that could inspire some especially interesting contest submissions:

• Can Mormonism provide a spiritual home to gay/lesbian people? Are there Mormon teachings, or Mormon historical figures, that still inspire us?
  
  
• How does coming out affect our relationships with Mormon family members: parents, siblings, spouses, children? How can we move to heal wounded relationships?
  
  
• What challenges do GLBT people face as they try to build enduring partnerships? What about those who have no partner, either by choice or by circumstance?
  
  
• We're used to hearing about certain sub-groups within the gay Mormon community: gay Mormon fathers, gay youth. What about the experiences of lesbian Mormon mothers? Gay seniors? Gay Mormons living outside the United States? Transgendered Mormons?
  
  
• Why are so many Mormons horrified by the prospect of same-sex marriage? Can we change their minds and hearts--and if so, how?

Alyson Bolles

Paul Mortensen and Robert Jacob Rick Fernández and Henry Miller

Micah Bisson

UVSC Professor David Knowlton (left) and artist Don Farmer were the speakers