Inside This Issue Editorial: Same-Sex Marriage--More of the Same? Calendar San Francisco Conference: Register Today Alice Hoglan, Mother of 9/11 Flight 93 Hero Don't Forget the Writing Contest! Denver Mormons Launch Affirmation Chapter Utah Paper Features Affirmation Member Send Us Your Pride Reports!

Editorial: Same-Sex Marriage--More of the Same?

By Olin Thomas, Executive Director

Never in the history of the gay rights movement has an issue generated as much publicity, support, and opposition as has the matter of same-sex marriages. Twenty years ago we were trying to get the president to say the word "gay". Today the President is suggesting a constitutional amendment on a gay matter--same-sex marriage. The Mormon Church has transitioned from pretending we didn't exist to open political activism to oppose same-sex marriage.

In the last decade many gay issues have broken out into mainstream discussion circles, but the matter of same-sex marriage has snowballed in recent years into a avalanche that threatens to sweep away many of the barriers that kept gays and lesbians excluded from mainstream society. What is it about same-sex marriage that makes it so threatening to society at large? I will answer that, but first let us look more at the issue.

Perhaps no church promotes marriage as strongly as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Marriage is eternal. Marriage is part of the plan of salvation. Marriages are performed in temples, with only the worthiest in attendance. Marriage is something to celebrate, cherish, respect, and honor. Is it any wonder that a gay boy or a lesbian girl raised in the Mormon world would not be imbued with the same values? We gays also celebrate, respect, honor, and cherish the institution of marriage. Strong partnerships of long standing are no novelty within Affirmation and no surprise to other gay Mormons. Though many in society believe that gays can't make relationships work, we know differently.

Now politicians, both straight and gay, have challenged our nation's laws and traditions by allowing same-sex marriage in places such as Portland, San Francisco, New York, New Mexico, and Massachusetts. Similar events are unfolding in Canada. Members of Affirmation are among the many gays and lesbians rushing to achieve legal recognition of a fact that society has desperately wanted to ignore--that there are thousands of same-sex marriages in existence now, despite the state's failure to recognize them.

Gay men and lesbian women are already investing their time, sweat, and resources to establish families, and to build and support families of choice that are as strong as those established by more traditional means. If anything, these relationships are stronger, for we achieve this without the support of society and often in spite of it. Now that there is a chance of legal recognition of this fact, many religiously opposed to it are in shock. They claim same-sex marriage will destroy the institution of marriage, though without giving a single explanation of why or how. They show disgust at images of loving gay parents with their children, or of happy couples vowing to love, honor, and cherish one another.

But why? These are the same values they have supported with all their strength for generations. Why isn't having even more people married and caring for children a cause for celebration? It is simple to understand their fear: They are being confronted with the fact that gays and lesbians may very often value the same things they do. We may not be so different from them, and that is what is so threatening.

I'd like everyone in the Mormon community--both gay and straight--to take a look at some of the stories of Affirmation couples who are getting married and starting their own families (www.affirmation.org/ssu). Love makes a family. I congratulate them for their courage and join in celebrating their love.





San Francisco Conference: Register Today

Thanks to Pulitzer Prize winning cartoonist Steve Benson for preparing this cartoon especially for the San Francisco conference.

All the registration materials for the 2004 Affirmation conference can be found online at <www.affirmation.org/ conference>. If you are a dues-paying member, you will also receive a registration packet by mail by June 7.

If you are a dues-paying member and do not receive the packet, it means that we do not have your current mailing address. Please send an email to (Treasury583affirmation.org) with your name, current address and phone number so that we can send you the packet and update our records.

Register today!

Alice Hoglan with son & 911 hero Mark Bingham

Alice Hoglan, Mother of 9/11 Flight 93 Hero Mark Bingham Will Speak at Our Devotional!

Alice Hoglan has become a mother célèbre of the gay community; she has spoken all around the country, including in Washington, where she spoke at a Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays conference alongside actress Sharon Gless. At a gay pride event in San Francisco, she marched with the rugby team her son Mark Bingham helped found, and gave them the trophy for winning the year's gay rugby tournament.

Alice was born into a military family and spent some years in the Mormon Church. Despite her sheltered upbringing, Hoglan has had a pretty colorful life journey. Married at 19--after getting pregnant--and divorced at 21, Hoglan remained single.

Hoglan's private world as a flight attendant and family-oriented homebody was violently changed when Bingham, a highly successful PR professional in San Francisco, had the misfortune of being one of the passengers on United Flight 93, bound for San Francisco when it was hijacked and crashed into a Pennsylvania field. It is widely held that Mark Bingham, a strapping 6-foot-4 rugby player, was instrumental in confronting the hijackers, which caused the plane to crash in an unpopulated area rather than at a target in Washington, D.C.

She was thrust into the national spotlight, first as the grieving mother of a Flight 93 victim and then, as facts became known, as the mother of a gay Flight 93 victim. Her agonizing loss was exacerbated when, shortly after the attacks, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson implied that the deaths of more than 3,000 people could be blamed in part on God's displeasure with homosexuals.

Alice is the first to admit that she was as ignorant of what it means to be gay as many middle Americans. Her son had come out to her only 10 years before his death, and she admits to a steep learning curve after that.

She says, "Mark was very matter-of-fact about being gay; he didn't try to hide it, but neither did he make it a big deal. I look forward to a day when people who are gay and lesbian can say that as naturally as if they were saying, 'I have blue eyes.'" And then she adds, "I also want to speak out on the ignorance surrounding gay and lesbian issues".

The Hoglan family remains inordinately tight, so tight that Alice agreed to be surrogate mother to her brother's children--not once but twice. The first time was to bear one twin girl; the other was born by a different woman. And the second time was to bear all three of her brother's triplets--all boys.

Alice has ended her 20-year career as a flight attendant with United Airlines, after she tangled frequently with management over what she perceived were shortcomings in security measures.



Don't Forget the Writing Contest!

By John-Charles Duffy

We've already received our first entry for the Affirmation Writing Contest! The final deadline is still a couple of months away, though, so there's time to work on your own submission. The contest is open to non-fiction writing in any genre on any subject relevant to GLBT Mormon experience. Most contestants submit previously unpublished work, but you can also nominate a piece published during the last year.

Contest rules and entry forms are available at <www.affirmation.org/writing_contest>. This year's deadline is August 1. Share your story! Speak your truth!

Micah Bisson

Denver Mormons Launch Affirmation Chapter

On May 21, a group of gay Mormons from Denver had a meeting in which they launched Affirmation Denver. "I'm happy that our first meeting was as much of a success as I could have ever hoped for," says chapter coordinator Micah Bisson.

The group is planning to hold their second meeting on June 18. For updates on upcoming activities, go to <www.affirmation.org/denver>.

Willy Marshall

Utah Paper Features Affirmation Member
Willy Marshall is the Openly Gay Mayor of Big Water

The SL Metro, a Utah gay paper, featured in its cover story Willy Marshall, a longtime Affirmation member and mayor of Big Water since 2001. Willy ran his campaign as an openly gay man, and now he serves the 400 people town on the Arizona border as mayor.

"Being in political office has been a major life goal ever since I got off my LDS mission," says Willy, who is a Libertarian. "[Libertarianism's] basic principal is free agency," he explains.

To read a full story, click here.


Send Us Your Pride Reports!

What did you and your Affirmation friends did during Pride? at AffirmationLDSearthlink.net to be published in July's Affinity. We encourage you to include pictures.