Affinity
October, 2004
 

Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons—Serving Gay & Lesbian Mormons and their Family and Friends Since 1977

Inside This Issue



Ina Mae Murri
Editorial: Leaving a Legacy of Truth

By Ina Mae Murri, Affirmation's former General Coordinator
Reprinted from Affinity, June 1982, p. 3.

Part of the legacy we have as Mormons is genealogy work and being interested in who our ancestors are. I have in my possession a folder in which my mother assembled all the family histories she had on both her and my father's side. On occasion, I take out this folder and read these histories. It inspires me when I see the lives our ancestors lived as they joined the Church, many of them leaving homes in far-flung places to come to Zion to join with the rest of the Saints. I appreciate the lives they led and find much to keep me humble and thankful for the blessings I now enjoy.

But this also gives me food for thought as I look at my life and what I want my descendants to know about my life. Probably we have all heard stories in our families about an aunt, uncle, cousin, or some other relative who the family keeps quiet about, but of course there is some "scandal" which must now get out. Do we as homosexuals fit in the category in our family where they do not know our true story?

I have as one of the projects in my life to write my true story. My son knows about me so it is not for his benefit. I came out to my brothers and sisters at Christmas 1980. So they know the facts. But will it ever go any further than that immediate circle? I have many nieces and nephews, and they are now having children. I want to write my history and leave copies to all of them so that I will not be a "scandal story" to be passed around at family reunion times. I plan to have a copy of my story in envelopes and upgrade their addresses as needed. When I pass away, I want these stories to go where they are addressed. Only then will they know the truth. Maybe there will be a gay niece or nephew who will benefit from the knowledge they have of their aunt.

I want to encourage all members of Affirmation to write their true stories and find some way to leave this story for their families to have. This may be one way for us to leave the truth about us to our families. It is very hard to come out to our families; and if we are not able to, we can at least write the truth and let the results be found after we are gone. I feel also that our families will eventually come to feel the same about us as before. It just takes time and exposure to us after finding out about the real us. I encourage all of you to go back and look at Treasures of Truths books and family histories, and find a way to incorporate your story in with the rest. But make sure it is the truth.






Call for Nominations for National Executive Director

As indicated in Article III of Affirmation's bylaws, the term of office for the Executive Director will expire on December 31, 2004. Any Affirmation member interested in serving as executive director must submit a declaration of candidacy by October 8 (first day of the conference). Only current dues-paying members can run for office.

Declarations of candidacy will be published in the November issue of Affinity. Candidates will also have an opportunity to speak at the Conference in October. They should be prepared to outline their vision and goals and to answer any questions.

Please consider placing your name into candidacy. Affirmation benefits when we can choose among a variety of candidates who care about moving Affirmation forward. Please do not be deterred by the responsibility of the office. Affirmation does not depend on one person alone; as many executive directors in the past have found, there are many who help.

To place your name into candidacy, please submit by October 8 a statement by email to at AffirmationLDSearthlink.net, or by mail to:


P.O. Box 6369
Long Beach, CA 90806


Attend Affirmation's Leadership Meeting
It Will Be Held October 8, 2:00-4:00 in the Ramada Plaza

by Olin Thomas

The annual Affirmation leadership meeting will be held from 2:00-4:00pm on Friday, October 8, 2005 in the Union Square Room at the Ramada Plaza, where we are staying during Conference this year. All interested persons are invited to attend. A special invitation is extended to chapter directors, webmasters, newsletter editors, Affirmation area points of contacts, and others actively involved in Affirmation activities and areas of interests. The Executive Director will consider this meeting to be a meeting of the Council of Chapter Representatives, as organized under our current bylaws.

In the interests of garnering the widest participation, the meeting will be limited to two hours and the agenda closely followed. A full agenda will be distributed at the meeting, but will include a vote on raising the annual dues for Affirmation membership from $20 to $25. Other topics will include possible future Conference locations and the direction of Affirmation in future years. We have a variety of core purposes, which can be fulfilled in a variety of ways. Come hear the strategic plan and contribute to it. The Executive Committee would also like to discuss a major new initiative in fund-raising for Affirmation and would like your input. Please plan on attending this meeting if you are interested in the governance of Affirmation.


Affirmation Has a Book of Remembrance. Do You Have Yours?

By Hugo Salinas

October is family history month, and it is no secret that we as Mormons feel a special responsibility to preserve and celebrate our family history. The way I see it, this encompasses not only our biological family, but also our adoptive family (partners and friends) and our tribal family (Affirmation and the GLBT community at large).

During the last three years I have spent hundreds of hours preparing and uploading pages and pictures that help preserve our gay Mormon family history on the Affirmation website. Following a suggestion by Queer author Connell O'Donovan, we have decided to call this area of the website "Our Book of Remembrance." We are committed to expand it without limit.

Our gay Mormon legacy goes back to the 19th century. It includes patrician Mormon families, BYU professors, renowned activists, inspired poets, and yes--BYU Ambassadors as well. It features extraordinary stories of both failure and triumph, hopelessness and courage, doubt and resilience. Unlike the official LDS history, it is uncensored. It doesn't always have a happy ending. Precisely because of that, I find our gay Mormon legacy a thousand times more compelling that anything I've ever read in the Ensign.

In the last four years I lost two close friends. The day after they died, I saw their relatives hijack their legacies, censor any reference to the fact that they were gay, and write obituaries that made me wonder if they even knew the deceased. Motivated by fear and ignorance, these actions threaten to rob us of a history that is legitimately ours.

Please don't wait till you are 65 to start thinking about how you are going to preserve your own story and your own legacy. Start thinking about this matter today. Many gay and lesbian Mormons have sent me personal stories and photographs to be posted on the Affirmation website. I usually post such stories in an area called Personal Voices. I am waiting anxiously .

If you wish to preserve personal papers or manuscripts--and I hope you do!--please consider donating them to the Special Collections of the Marriott Library at the University of Utah, where the Affirmation collection is preserved. Unlike the LDS Church archives, the University of Utah Library does not censor its collection. You can either start your own collection, or make a donation to the Affirmation collection. Please contact Stan Larson and make your donation today.

As queer Mormons, you and I have a story that is unique. It has been hiding for too long; it too must come out of the closet. Let's take our gay Mormon legacy from under the bushel and let's place it on the candlestick, where it will give light to all that are in the house.


Gay Mormon History: A Celebration

These are just a few of the many people who are part of our history. You can learn more about these and other gay Mormon pioneers at www.affirmation.org/memorial.

Counselor May Anderson (left, 1864-1946) and Primary President Louise B. Felt (right, 1850-1928). They were called the "David and Jonathan" of Primary. They met when May was 19 and Louise (or "Louie," as she preferred to be called) was 33. They lived together for many years and were inseparable. After Anderson's death, May became Primary president herself.

Suggested readings: Quinn, Michael D., Same-Sex Dynamics Among Nineteenth Century Americans: A Mormon Example, pp. 242-247.
Evan Stephens (left, 1854-1930): Director of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir; composer of many Mormon hymns. Stephens died a bachelor, but during his life he lived with a series of young men with whom he had strong emotional attachments. Noel S. Pratt, right, was one of his chums.

Suggested readings: Quinn, Michael D., Same-Sex Dynamics Among Nineteenth Century Americans: A Mormon Example, pp. 232-242. Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought 28:4 (Winter 1995), pp. 105-178. Ray L. Bergman, The Children Sang: The Life and Music of Evan Stephens.
Ada Dwyer Russell (1863-1952): Well-known Utah Mormon actress who performed in the Salt Lake Theater, on Broadway, and on the London stage. Russell entered a long-term relationship with Amy Lowell, a nationally prominent poet and lesbian, in 1912. Russell was the subject of Lowell's poetry from 1912 until Lowell's death in 1925.

Suggested readings: Quinn, Michael D., Same-Sex Dynamics Among Nineteenth Century Americans: A Mormon Example, pp. 172-173.
Leonard Matlovich (1943-1988): A veteran of the Vietnam War, Leonard Matlovich challenged the US Air Force policy on automatically discharging homosexual service members as "unfit for military service." A speaker at several Affirmation events, Matlovich died of AIDS complications in 1988. His famous epitaph at the Congressional Cemetery in Washington DC reads, "When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one."

Suggested readings: Bell, Jay, "Sgt. Leonard P. Matlovich: Patriot, Mormon, and Activist." O'Donovan, Connell, "Leonard Matlovich Makes Time."
May Swenson (1919-1989): Renowned lesbian poet, chancellor of the Academy of American Poets from 1980 to 1989. Born in a Mormon family in Logan, Utah, Swenson spent most of her adult life in and near New York City. According to critic Harold Bloom, she ranks with Marianne Moore and Elizabeth Bishop as one of the three best women poets of the twentieth century.

Suggested readings: Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought 29:3 (Fall 1996), pp. 141-156. "In Love Made Visible."



A Gift to Last:
The Affirmation Collection at the University of Utah


Through the efforts made by our late friend Jay Bell, Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons began in 2000 a program to collect and preserve its own history at the archives of the University of Utah. Affirmation chapters and individuals are encouraged to donate their gay/LDS-related papers and thus help preserve our rich history. All questions and donations should be sent to:


J. Willard Marriott Library, 5th Floor
295 S 1500 E, Salt Lake City, UT 84112-0860
stan.larsonlibrary.utah.edu
(801) 581-8864 or (801) 581-8863

Two Ways to Make the Donation

A donation to the Affirmation collection can be made in one of two ways. First, it can be made directly to the Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons Collection, Accession Number 1867. Talk with Stan Larson if you wish to protect your identity as a donor.

The second way to make a donation is by starting a collection under your own name. If you describe the collection, or part of it, as relating to Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons, then the contents can be catalogued as such and the items can be retrieved, even if under a different accession number. This might be a preferred method of making a donation if the collection is large, if it has a particular scope (for instance, not strictly gay Mormon but just gay or just Mormon), or if includes unrelated items that have to do with other areas of your life.

Get Reimbursed for Making a Donation!

You can yourself estimate the value of your collection, and get a tax deduction of up to (but not including) $5,000 when you file your taxes in the fiscal year after you made the donation. If you believe your collection is worth more than $5,000, it will have to be appraised by an independent appraiser. Contact Stan Larson for details.

If you live far away from Salt Lake City, you could get reimbursed for the cost of shipping the materials. Before sending the materials, you need to contact Stan Larson by email or by regular mail and give him a description of the contents and size of the collection. Stan Larson will tell you if they are interested in receiving the collection, and by what method (e.g., UPS, US Mail, etc.). After mailing the materials, you need to send Stan Larson the original shipping receipt--not a photocopy--to receive your reimbursement.

What Kinds of Materials Are Included in the Collection?

  • Chapter newsletters
  • Correspondence
  • Conference programs
  • Flyers and brochures
  • Minutes
  • Photographs
  • Cassettes
  • Videocassettes
  • DVDs
  • Diskettes
  • CD ROMs

Organizing Your Papers before Shipping

The items will be archived exactly as they are received! Therefore we ask you to please organize your papers in folders, and label the folders. Try to include on the labels information that contextualizes the item or folder and clarifies its relevance for Affirmation. For instance, "Script for The Edge of Hollywood!" is of little historical value; it would be much better to label it, "Script for The Edge of Hollywood! Presented by the Los Angeles Chapter during the national conference, West Hollywood, California, 8 October 1988."

Photographs: Please write the approximate date, the names of the people who appear, and a description of the event. Ideally, write the information on a separate sheet of paper with numbered items and number the pictures with a soft marker on the back; if you write descriptions on the back of the picture, make sure that you use a soft marker to avoid leaving marks on the front of the pictures.

Cassettes, videos, diskettes, and CD ROMs: Please label the contents. For instance, a diskette could be labeled, "Email Correspondence between Executive Director and Chapter Directors, March 1994 - July 1996."

Confidential Information

If you have in your collection confidential information, such as old members directories or conference attendees directories, do not include them in your donation. Destroy any lists of members that you no longer use; if you are an Affirmation officer and have a list of members that you deem useful to another Affirmation officer, please send it to the Executive Committee. For more information, please review Affirmation's records and confidentiality guidelines.





Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons
P.O. Box 46022
Los Angeles, CA 90046
National Phone Line: (323) 255-7251

To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters

Executive Director: Olin Thomas
Senior Assistant Director: Alyson Bolles
Assistant Director: James Morris
Associate Director & Affinity Editor:

Send Us Your Submission!

AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee. and should be limited to 250 words. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, national committee or publisher, but rather the individual writers. The Editor reserves the right to edit any material deemed offensive, libelous, grammatically incorrect or lengthy.

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