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Editorial: Raising Awareness about Suicide & Suicide Prevention By Olin Thomas, Executive Director In Affirmation's general charter, one of the purposes of our organization is "to help [gays and lesbians] realize and affirm self-worth." It is tremendously difficult to convey this message with a constant barrage of messages emanating from Church, society and many families telling the gay or lesbian Mormon that they are not of value, that they are inherently flawed. For some people, the struggle to realize their place in creation is too daunting, and they choose to end their lives. It is nearly impossible to develop accurate statistics on suicides. Often either the individual or their family, or both, do not wish the world to know they were homosexual or that suicide occurred. Sometimes the facts of a case are unclear even to the unbiased. But those of us who have spent years answering telephone hotlines, reading emails and attending gatherings of gay and lesbian Mormons know that it is a distinct risk within our particular community. One Affirmation leader recounted a call he received some years ago from a man who was literally sitting on a high ledge contemplating leaping to his death. After hours on the telephone, tragedy was averted, at least for that day. How many do not call? Thanks to the hard work of Hugo Salinas, Affirmation has a memorial website to commemorate those who felt they had no other option than to take their own life. We wanted to bring this issue out of its closet of shame. It was our hope that those who were intolerant might realize the potential consequences of their attitudes, and those who were considering suicide might be awakened into seeking help and support. Suicide, due to all causes, is such a significant public health risk, that there is an American Association of Suicidology, which has declared September 4-10, 2005 to be suicide prevention week. The Portland Chapter of Affirmation has been raising the awareness of this matter within the Mormon community through vigils held outside the gates to the local LDS temple, beginning in 2001. This year they will again hold a vigil, in co-operation with the Committee of Welcoming Congregations and other concerned organizations. Senior Assistant Director Alyson Bolles is preparing press releases and advertising flyers which we intend to offer to other Affirmation Chapters interested in holding vigils. We encourage other Affirmation Chapters to hold vigils or to join other faith based or community organizations' vigils or memorials. For suggestions on how to plan a vigil, please visit www.affirmation.org/ suicide_info/ vigils.shmtl; you may contact directly if you need more guidance. Our efforts to highlight this issue are not always welcomed, however. Church representatives told Portland vigil attendees they would be arrested if they entered Church property. Pictures were taken of attendees and some were even questioned by their bishops. Since the Affirmation Suicide Memorial page has been on our website, we have been contacted by the families of three different persons who were listed on the memorial with demands to remove their names. Hugo and the Executive Committees desire accurate, respectful reporting for our website, but to many people (particularly LDS) just mentioning that someone was gay or committed suicide is considered slanderous, regardless of the truth of the matter. The Executive Committee will soon discuss Affirmation's policy on posting information about possible gay suicides. We will have to decide what level of proof is required, in regards to both the sexual orientation and the cause of death. We have to ask ourselves if memorializing these individuals achieves the results we seek. We must decide if we have the moral high ground in our actions when we insist a death was suicide or that a person was gay when the family says that was not the case. This would not be an issue if it were not for many cases in which it was very obvious the family was trying to avoid disclosing what was a painful truth to them, but to our community the true essence of the person involved. The memorial is viewed at least 500 times a month, perhaps many times that. Our actions are gaining notice, and we are obligated to act responsibly. Your comments, opinions or suggestions are welcomed and can be sent to executive_committee  affirmation.org.
One thought that keeps me coming back year after year to Affirmation, both to Conference and to local events, is the realization that without a active organization there would be no phone lines to call, no sympathetic people to answer email, and no meetings to find support at. Just being available and caring are powerful suicide prevention strategies.
Affirmation Members Invited to Attend Denver Leadership Meeting It Will Be Held September 30, 3-5 PM Affirmation is managed by an executive committee, but the ultimate authority governing authority of the organization are the members, meeting in a general conference. The Charter provides for a Council of Chapter Representatives, which has the authority to approve the appointments of assistant directors and to remove the executive director. More importantly, however, representatives from each chapter meet each year to advise the executive committee and discuss the direction of Affirmation. Traditionally, this has developed into an annual business meeting of concerned members. We will hold this meeting from 3:00 to 5:00pm on Friday, September 30, in the hospitality suite (room #3855). All interested members are invited and each chapter should appoint a representative who can commit to attending or arrange for a substitute in his or her absence. Chapter Directors are encouraged to attend in person. Please who your representative will be at olin affirmation.org. Your participation is vital to the long term success of Affirmation. We look forward to seeing you there!
Gamofites to Hold Luncheon & Meeting Gamofites (Gay Mormon Fathers) will meet Saturday, October 1, for their traditional annual luncheon and meeting. The restaurant is located at walking distance from the Denver conference hotel. The cost is $22.00 per person. For reservations, please download the announcement/form and mail your check to Ken Salzman by September 23.
Friday Event Will Still Include Ice-Breaker, Movie By Hugo Salinas Australian comedian and author Sue-Ann Post has just informed us that she received an offer to work for the Australian TV industry. We are happy for Sue-Ann, but unfortunately this job opportunity will interfere with her plans to attend the Denver Conference in September. Despite Sue-Ann's absence, we are making plans for a fun ice-breaker on Friday evening. Conference ice-breakers tend to be a lot of fun, and this one will be no exception. And we are still planning to screen the new documentary about Sue-Ann Post, Lost Tribe. The film includes glimpses of almost all of us in Affirmation who attended the Salt Lake Conference. This event will be the film's first public screening in the United States. For those of you who have not yet registered-you can still do it! We are excited about this Affirmation conference-the first one ever held in Colorado. Denver is a terrific city, and the conference hotel is located in the heart of Denver. More importantly, Affirmation members and friends will be coming from all over the United States to this event. Please plan to be a part of our annual family reunion in Denver. It Will Be Held September 16-18 in Salt Lake City Make your travel plans now to attend the first annual TGI Mormon Retreat. This retreat is for all who identify as Transgender or Intersex and have Mormon ties AND THEIR family and friends. This year we will hold it in Salt Lake City during the third weekend of September. Duane Jennings has opened his home for us to meet that weekend. We will start our retreat Friday night (September 16th) with a meet and greet at Duane's home and will wrap things up on Sunday. We will likely ask for a small registration fee (between $20-40) to pay for food during activities and also as a way to committ those who say they will attend. Specific activities are still being worked out but if you are interested in attending, please e-mail me by September 1st,2005. Rebecca Nay TGI Mormons Group Owner/Moderator tgimormons (at) comcast.net P.S. If you live in Salt Lake and are willing to open your home to group members who are traveling please let me know ASAP. It is my hope to arrange accomodations for all who are traveling to make this as inexpensive as possible.
by Patxy Peguero July 2005 On July 23, Affirmation NYC held its meeting in Central Park, marking Pioneer Day a day early. People came & went as the afternoon passed. In all there were 7 members in the Shakespeare Garden, talking and reminiscing under the hemlock & ash trees on what was a spectacular summer day. Members were joined by Roman Feeser, who is collecting information for his book about the relationship the Mormon church has with its gay "second-class saints". Roman has also written a play about a gay young man who committed suicide on the steps of the Los Altos, CA stake center in 2000. We look forward to meeting Roman again soon, whose play will start rehearsing soon in New York. Affirmation NYC's next meeting will be on August 7, at 4:00 pm, and we might have a guest Chris Cormier. For more information, check www.affirmation.org/nyc.
by Kevin Dion, director of Affirmation Orlando July 2004 Our May/June activity at the Magic Kingdom didn't exactly go as we planned but we had fun nonetheless. We gathered at my house for a great breakfast prepared by Daniel. Shawn had to leave us early as his son wasn't doing well. We got over to the park around 10:00 am and began the great search for Chris (this turned into an unsuccessful day long search which ended badly when we attacked Mickey thinking Chris was hiding from us inside the costume). Our group included Richard, Jeff, Reid, Daniel and my non-LDS friends Paul and Cesar. We made our way up Main Street and over to Tomorrowland where we did Space Mountain, the tram and the Grand Prix raceway. I wanted to go visit Mickey and Minnie's houses but no one went for that idea. We then made it over to Fantasyland where we did Mickey's Philharmagic and the newly renovated It's a Small World. By the time we passed the Haunted House the stomachs were grumbling and we enjoyed foot long hot dogs at Frontierland. We were now ready for the 3:00 pm parade and excitement was all around as the queens enjoyed watching all the princesses float by. The rain started and the lines for Splash Mountain and Thunder Mountain were too long for us to wait. We headed back home for afternoon naps in anticipation of an evening at Pleasure Island. A few minutes after our dinner at Longhorn, the rain began to come down in buckets. We decided that Pleasure Island would not be fun in the rain so Richard, Reid, Cesar, Jeff and our two Affirmation visitors from out west headed to the Sheraton for the "Bear"dance. Except for the humidity, the search for Chris, and the late night rain, it ended up a good day.
Contact :Alyson Bolles Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons Email: alyson affirmation.orgURL: www.affirmation.org Lake Oswego OR - On September 7th, 2005, from 6 to 8 PM in front of the Mormon temple in Lake Oswego, a candlelight vigil will be held in memory of those we have lost to suicide when they could not reconcile the messages from their religious communities with their sexuality. Entitled "No More Deaths! No More Silence!", the event will focus on the harmful effects on sexual minorities when powerful forces within a culture send damaging messages by their actions and words. The vigil will highlight the value of love and education to overcome the resulting problems and strengthen the families affected. This event is open to all families of every faith. It is being sponsored by Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons, with Community of Welcoming Congregations, Love Makes a Family, Oregon Safe Schools and Communities Coalition, and The GLBT Concerns and the Church Committee of the United Church of Christ (Central Pacific Conference). In March 2000, while leaders of the LDS Church were engaged in a costly anti-gay crusade in California, four gay Mormons killed themselves within four weeks. For members of Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons, this was a horrific wake-up call. Since 1965, more than 35 gay Mormons have committed suicide as confirmed by public records. (Because suicide is such a taboo subject and often a source of shame for victims' families, death by suicide is difficult to confirm - the actual number is probably much higher). We have organized memorial services and candlelight vigils to remember our dead and raise awareness about this health crisis in our midst. We do this in the hope of helping prevent more suicides. For more information please visit our website www.affirmation.org/suicide_info.  Reports of Past Vigils
Transitions We regret to announce the passing of Affirmation members Lynn Stewart and Robert Jay Christensen. Lynn committed suicide on July 24 in her home in Salt Lake City. Robert died days later, of natural causes, in his apartment in Taiwan. Despite being shy, Lynn is remembered as a loving person and a talented musician. She was always willing to help those in need. She hosted a number of women's camps at her family's cabin in the Wasatch mountains for Affirmation women. Lynn is survived by three children Kirt, Vanessa and Cami and a grandson, Gerrit.
On July 29, 2005, relatives, Affirmation members, and friends gathered for a graveside service in the Salt Lake City cemetery. On that evening, Mary and Cela hosted a gathering for Lynn's chosen family, also attended by some members of her biological family. Affirmation friend Michelle Hardgrave traveled from California to celebrate Lynn's life. We invite Affirmation members and friends to visit a memorial page posted at www.affirmation.org/suicides/lynn_stewart.shmtl and add your own tribute. The page includes information about a memorial fund for transgender awareness and resources which has been established in Lynn's honor at the GLBT Community Center of Utah. Robert is remembered as a writer who contributed to the Affirmation website, Affinity, and the Affirmation Writing Contest, and who also published in other venues. He loved to discourse on matters of interest to him either in person or by use of the Internet. He had a wide field of acquaintances with whom he exchanged ideas. He was a familiar figure in Affirmation Portland cornerstones, Affirmation national conferences, and Sunstone symposiums. After finishing his degree at Yale University, Robert pursued Asian Studies in his graduate program. Initially his interest was centered on Japan, then he became interested in the Chinese. He took up residence for 25 years in Hong Kong and Taiwan, working as a copy editor, translator, and teacher of the English language. He had many friends and was known affectionately as the eccentric American scholar. Robert had been in Taiwan for the past three years and had had serious health problems, including advanced diabetes and two recent strokes. We invite Affirmation members and friends to visit a memorial page posted at www.affirmation.org/memorial_members/robert_j_christensen.shmtl. Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving
Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY
is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee.
About AFFINITY and E-AFFINITY AFFINITY is available both as an email text and as a web-based document. Although both versions are free of charge, we encourage you to become a dues-paying member and thus help us advance Affirmation's important mission. If you wish to receive a text version of AFFINITY by email, simply
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Lynn E. Stewart
Robert J. Christensen (1943-2005)
1996-2008 Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons
www.affirmation.org
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