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“Affirmation put special people on my path who helped me grow as a young gay Mormon and who helped me understand and accept that I am OK as I am” By Angelo Berbotto April 2007 Angelo is the former coordinator of Sydney Gay Mormons and lives in Italy. This is the fourth in a series of articles showcasing the international face of Affirmation. I was born in a small town in Uruguay. I became a member when the missionaries first arrived to my town, when I was 16. My family eventually moved to Montevideo, where my siblings also joined the church. I served a mission in Resistencia, Argentina, from 1993-95. I was aware of my sexual orientation before joining the church, but at that time I was not prepared to come out of the closet. It just was not a choice — there were no role models, and being homosexual was pretty much unacceptable by society. I went on a mission hoping that a miracle would take place, but it didn't. So three months after returning from my mission, I resigned from my church callings, packed all my garments away, stopped using my first name and started using my middle name — that's how far I had to go to mark the end of one stage and the beginning of another and start living my life as myself. At that time I was studying translation and had access to an American library in Uruguay. I couldn't believe I was alone. Surely there was some sort of organisation for gay Mormons in the US. I did some research and found the details about Affirmation listed in a book with all the NGOs of the US. I wrote to Affirmation in June 1996, and I was delighted to get a reply soon after. At that time I was desperate to talk to someone who could understand my experience and who could help me reconcile my faith and myself. That was the period before e-mail, so I patiently wrote letters to different contacts of Affirmation worldwide, asking if anyone would care to be my pen-pal. That is how I met John, who was then the Australian contact for Affirmation. Little did I know that those letters would lead to him eventually becoming my partner for the next six years and my life-long friend. For a while after coming out, I felt that the Church's position was so antagonistic to myself and others like me that I decided to move on and not think about it. After all, I had a gay Mormon partner I could talk about my spirituality if I needed to. By 2004 I had already done work on myself and the issues of being a gay returned missionary. So I decided to reach out to others who might need the support and help of someone who could understand. I placed an ad in the gay press, and people started to contact me. We would get together once a month and discuss a topic, watch a movie, play games, etc. At the beginning we were four or five; by the time I moved to London in May 2005, there were a few more. I am a lawyer; at the moment I am in Rome doing research on same-sex parenting in the Italian legal context. I am involved in different GLBT organisations in Rome and my experience in Affirmation is turning out to be valuable here, where the Catholic Church is so powerful and intrusive in people's lives. Previously, I was working in London, where I had the chance to meet 4 other gay Mormons. I have been contacted only once here in Italy by a gay LDS. However, I have met a couple of gay Catholic priests… Affirmation changed my life because I was deeply committed to the Church and thought my life could not exist without it. Affirmation put special people on my path who helped me grow as a young gay Mormon and who helped me understand and accept that I am OK as I am. I am just trying to return part of what I have received.
Registration Starts at $139 The registration form for the Affirmation conference, as well as information about fees, the Mount Vernon tour, and the conference hotel, is posted at http://conference.affirmationdc.org. Registration fees for dues-paying Affirmation members start at $139 if postmarked before June 1. An additional $29 fee covers transportation and admission for the Sunday afternoon tour. The form also allows you renew your membership and make donations to help defray conference costs. Please note that conference fees do not cover the entire cost of the conference. Your donations to help defray the cost of the conference and your donations to the Irwin Phelps Scholarship fund are both needed and welcomed. Sunday Afternoon Activity There will be an optional Sunday afternoon activity. We will journey along the Potomac River from Washington to beautiful Mount Vernon, the home of George and Martha Washington. You will be able to walk through the estate, which has been maintained in much the same style as when President Washington was living there, including the house, the kitchen building, the slave quarters, the gardens, and much of the agricultural areas. In addition, a new multi-million dollar Visitor Center and Museum has just opened. You must register in advance; the $29 fee includes transportation and admission. Lodging Your conference registration does not include hotel lodging. By staying in the conference hotel, you not only will be at the center of all of the conference action, but you also help to defer the cost of the conference facilities by fulfilling Affirmation’s contractual room obligation. Please make hotel reservations with the Hyatt Regency Washington on Capitol Hill. To reserve your room at the Hyatt Regency Washington on Capitol Hill for the 2007 Affirmation Conference, simply call 1-800-233-1234 or 202-737-1234 and tell the reservations host or hostess that you are a part of Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons. It is important to specify that you are reserving for the Hyatt Regency Washington on Capitol Hill. There are several Hyatt hotels in DC, and you must be specific to ensure that our group can be found by the person taking the reservation and that you are actually registering at the correct hotel! Room rates are as follows:
These rates do not include local taxes of 14.5% or any applicable service fees. You must make your reservation before September 5, 2007. After that date, if rooms are available they will be at the hotel's prevailing rate, which is currently $369 plus tax per night for a single. Conference information and updates are permanently posted at http://conference.affirmationdc.org. Irwin Phelps Scholarship Available The Irwin Phelps Fund provides assistance to Affirmation members who would like to attend the conference but may find it to be a financial burden. Donations earmarked to this fund are gladly accepted and much needed. You may make contributions on your conference registration form or directly to the Treasurer. Irwin Phelps was the executive Director of Affirmation in 1992. His calm and compassionate leadership carried Affirmation through a time of great turmoil. Shortly after the 1992 Conference, he was murdered in his home in Phoenix. The Irwin Phelps Fund was established in his memory. Scholarships are awarded on the basis of financial need and contributions to Affirmation, such as activity or willingness to volunteer for service. Funds are limited and scholarships will be awarded on a “first-come, first-served” basis and only to those who establish a definite need for assistance. Past examples have included full-time students, unemployed or under-employed, retirees with limited income, international members and those living on disability payments. The assistance provided is a 50% reduction in conference registration fees in effect at the time of your application. We do not provide assistance with hotel rooms or airfare. To apply for this scholarship, send an email with your name, address, contact information, and reason for your request. Send the email to Olin Thomas at olin  affirmation.org. If you do not have email, you may mail a request to Affirmation, P.O. Box 77504, Washington, DC 20013 Attn: Irwin Phelps Scholarship. For urgent or complex questions, you may call Olin Thomas directly at 703-864-5527. Feel free to call at any hour of the day and leave a message.
Scholarships are available only for current Affirmation members, but we will accept a membership application or renewal and scholarship application simultaneously. Please don't wait until the last minute to inquire about scholarships! If you are interested, contact us now. We do allow you to change your mind, and feel free to contact us with questions.
V. Gene Robinson to Speak at Affirmation Conference in Washington DC By David Melson, 2007 Affirmation Conference Committee Chairman V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire, will be the keynote speaker for the 2007 Affirmation Conference being held in Washington, D.C., on October 5, 6, and 7. Bishop Robinson is the most prominent LGBT religious leader of our time. Bruce Steel, former editor of The Advocate news magazine, said that, “As the renewed debate over equal marriage rights has shown, at the root of all opposition to gay and lesbian rights lies religious conviction. One gay man has stood resolutely at the center of the contentious battle to shift religion away from hatred and exclusion and toward love and equality. V. Gene Robinson … has handled the resulting anger from conservative Christians with poise and eloquence.” Although at the center of controversy throughout the Anglican world, Bishop Robinson is a man with an impressive resume as a peacemaker, a healer, a leader, and an example for others. He has been a leader in AIDS work in the United States and in Africa, and a strong advocate for anti-racism. Much of his ministry has focused on helping congregations and clergy, especially in times of conflict, utilizing his skills in congregational dynamics, conflict resolution and mediation. As a schoolboy in Kentucky, the son of sharecroppers, Gene began to realize that he might be different — in a BBC interview he spoke of how he reacted differently to Playboy magazine than his friends — but in the South in the 1950's and 1960's, he knew that this was not something to be open about with others. Raised in the Disciples of Christ church, he converted while in college in Tennessee to the Episcopal Church. While on an internship at the University of Vermont, he met Isabella Martin. He explained to her his concerns about his sexuality and that he felt that therapy to try to change himself had failed. They married and had two daughters. In 1985, the couple made the decision to divorce, released each other from their wedding vows, asked each other's forgiveness, and committed themselves to the future of their children. Eighteen months later, after Isabelle had remarried, he met and began to date Mark Andrew; they have been together ever since. Bishop Robinson's extended family remains close; at the wedding of his eldest daughter, his partner, Mark, walked Gene's ex-wife down the aisle. Gene and Mark enjoy spending quiet nights at home in a small New Hampshire town, cooking, gardening, or watching television. They are loved by their neighbors and by the members of their diocese, who have stood by Bishop Robinson throughout the storm that has been stirred up in the Anglican Church as a result of his election as Bishop. In November, 2003, Gene concluded his first sermon as Bishop with one of his favorite anecdotes, which was later included in the Advocate article naming him the magazine's 2003 Man of the Year. Four American soldiers become best friends in the trenches of France during World War I. When one of them is killed, the others vow to give him a proper burial. But when they ask a priest to allow them to bury their comrade in the parish cemetery, the priest denies their request because the men can't guarantee that their dead friend was baptized. Instead, the men bury the soldier just outside the graveyard. After the war, when they return to visit the grave, they can't find it. When they ask the priest what happened, he explains, “I felt bad about my decision. Why should this man not deserve the same status before God as all these others who have gone before him? Who am I to judge him? So I moved the fence.” “Moving the fence” to encompass more people from the margins has always been a central theme of Bishop Robinson's ministry. V. Gene Robinson is a perfect example of the 2007 Affirmation Conference theme, “A More Perfect Union.” The 2007 Affirmation Conference will be held on October 5, 6, and 7, in Washington, D.C., at the Hyatt Regency on Capitol Hill. Information on other speakers, hotel reservations, and conference registration is available on the Conference Pages of www.affirmation.org. For more information or questions, contact Conference Chairman David Melson at Dave  AffirmationDC.org.“I feel like I'm all alone at BYU. There is no way for me to meet others like me, even just to talk, because everyone is so afraid of coming out.” March 22, 2007 (Salt Lake City, UT) -- Mormon Equality Rider Kourt Osborn, and his mother, Karel Allen, were arrested in an attempt to deliver a list of concerns to the administration regarding BYU's discriminatory policies against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) students. The list was presented with a white lily symbolizing the LDS youth who have committed suicide because they could not reconcile their LDS faith and sexual orientation. Concurrently, Equality Riders and community members walked for 6 hours on BYU's perimeter to reenact the “Walls of Jericho” march, symbolizing the walls of oppression at BYU. Current and former BYU students, gay and straight, submitted over fifty pages of concerns for the well-being of LGBT students at BYU. This is the fourth stop for the Equality Ride, a national tour of 50 young adults visiting schools that discriminate against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students. The Equality Riders are gay, straight, and transgender, Christian and non-Christian, and their group includes 4 LDS Riders. The BYU Student Honor Code states that “no one known to be guilty of overt and active homosexual conduct is to be enrolled or permitted to remain at Church Educational System (CES) campuses as students...” Brian Carl, a current BYU student and straight ally, says “the homophobic atmosphere at BYU makes it possible for students to verbally attack SSA [same-sex attracted] individuals.” The Equality Riders spent Wednesday afternoon at UVSC leading presentations about sexual orientation and faith to many community members, including LDS youth, and spent Wednesday evening with fifty BYU students discussing the reconciliation of the Church and LGBT individuals. “What can we do for the LGBT community?” one BYU student said during the open dialogue. Melissa Pomeroy, a sophomore at BYU, shared her concern: “I feel like I'm all alone at BYU. There is no way for me to meet others like me, even just to talk, because everyone is so afraid of coming out.” Last week, while the Soulforce Equality Riders were in Colorado, they received a letter from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints asking that Equality Riders “not enter church property for any purpose.” “After months of attempted dialogue, it is clear that the administration at BYU does not respect this conversation and wishes to silence the issue and their students. We return because at this very moment, there are many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students suffering alone on campus, many of whom have reached out to us,” says Matt Kulisch, BYU stop coordinator and former BYU student. “We remain hopeful that the student leaders will continue this dialogue beyond our [Equality Riders'] visit and that the administration will come to see the value in this discussion,” Kulisch adds. The Equality Riders will continue their mission to end religion-based discrimination against the LGBT community as they visit Brigham Young University, Idaho in mid-April. The next stop on the Ride will be Pepperdine University in Malibu, where Equality Riders will engage in a welcomed dialogue regarding Pepperdine's discriminatory policies. Other Stories Recently Posted at www.affirmation.org Desmond Tutu Likens Antigay Discrimination to Apartheid http://www.affirmation.org/news/2007_030.shtml Romney Gives $10,000 to Anti-Gay Group http://www.affirmation.org/news/2007_028.shtml Research Links Some Scriptures to Hostile Acts http://www.affirmation.org/news/2007_024.shtml Steven Fales to Appear on the Tyra Banks Show http://www.affirmation.org/news/2007_034.shtml Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Alyson Bolles Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: (affirmationLDS earthlink.net)
AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving
Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY
is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee.
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