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Affirmation Celebrates 30th Anniversary “Let us continue to sing our songs of redemption loudly, clearly, fearlessly!”
With beautiful music, inspiring art, and powerful speakers, Affirmation celebrated the 30th anniversary of its inception. The event was held at the United Church of Christ in Holladay, Utah. Among others, the program included presentations by Connell O'Donovan, Alyson Bolles, Leraine Horstmanshoff, Mark Packer, Mike Green, and Scott Mills. Renowned artist Trevor Southey featured some of his artwork and shared some thoughts. “I stand before you today – I AM ALIVE TODAY because 20 years ago I started attending Affirmation,” said writer and Affirmation member Connell O'Donovan. “I showed up at what was then the Wasatch Chapter, a confused, embittered, frightened, and deeply suicidal 25-year-old Gay Mormon, struggling in my soul to reconcile my sexuality and my spirituality, and I thank God that wonderful people like Russell Lane, Chuck Thomas, Dave Malmstrom, and Keith McBride reached out to me with the strong hand of fellowship, friendship, and unconditional love. ” “In the early spring of 1977, Salt Lake MCC sponsored an organizational meeting in their gymnasium on 900 West 400 South,” he added. “Bob Waldrop and several other Gay Libertarians and MCC members (all of whom had been LDS, by the way), including Thor Upwall (1944-1995), Kay Kellerman, Rev. James Sandmire, and a Lesbian named Dorothy M., had come up with the idea to organize a ‘Salt Lake Coalition for Human Rights.’ ... Stephan Zakharias and his network of Gay friends at BYU, decided to use the Salt Lake Human Rights Convention as the vehicle to organize what was then called Affirmation: Gay Mormons United.” “Every single one of us LGBT Mormons is a personal witness of the strength and power of homophobia in LDS culture, as well as a witness of our own strength, power, and resilience in the face of such institutional oppression. Building upon the work of our own pioneers ..., let us stand strong together as witnesses to the continuing plight of the homosexual, bisexual, and transgendered within Mormonism. Let us continue to sing our songs of redemption loudly, clearly, fearlessly!” The full text of Connell O'Donovan's remarks is posted at www.affirmation.org/ memorial/ singing_our_song.shtml
Conference to Kick-Off with Leadership Meeting, First-Timers Reception, and the DC Cowboys! Council of Chapter Representatives (Friday, 2:00 pm – 4:00 pm) Affirmation has its own form of Parliament, which is called, by our bylaws, “The Council of Chapter Representatives.” All Affirmation members are invited to attend this leadership meeting. However, each chapter should designate a representative, who will have voting abilities to decide major issues, such as changes to by-laws, changes in dues, or major policies. This group will meet on Friday, October 5, at 2:00 pm at the Hyatt Regency Washington on Capitol Hill. Please plan your flight to arrive early enough to attend if you wish to participate. Should you arrive late, please drop in for as much of the meeting as you can. The executive director, treasurer and other officers will present concise reports on the state of Affirmation. We will also discuss locations and dates for upcoming conferences. Attending this meeting is a great way to meet the current leadership of Affirmation, to get a sense of Affirmation's direction, and to contribute your views. The executive director will keep the meeting strictly on topic and on schedule. Join us from 2:00 to 4:00 pm on Friday for this important session!
Is this your first Affirmation conference? Between 4:00 and 5:00, Affirmation leaders will hold a reception especially for you. We will get acquainted, answer your questions, and help you get into the swing of things. This event is for first-time conference attendees and invited speakers only. The DC Cowboys Dance Company (Friday 6:00 pm) The 2007 Affirmation conference will kick off at 6:00 pm with an event bound to break (or melt!) the ice: A special guest appearance by the DC Cowboys Dance Company. Founded by Kevin Platte in 1994, the DC Cowboys Dance Company is a 20-member, all-male, all-volunteer, performing arts organization for gay men in the Washington, DC–metropolitan area. Many of us still remember all the fun we had with the cowboys six years ago. Plan your flight so that you can attend this event! Conference Wind-down (Sunday Afternoon) Our last conference session is scheduled to end at 1:00 PM on Sunday, although there is an optional activity on Sunday afternoon when we travel down the Potomac River to Mount Vernon, the home of George and Martha Washington. We will be returning to the hotel at approximately 7:00 PM that evening. This event requires separate registration. The association which manages Mt. Vernon has just completed an amazing and beautiful $110 million orientation center and museum. A trip to Washington would not be complete without learning more about the man for which the city is named and who set precedents for leaders of our nation that are still respected today. What better way to see the sights than with lots of your old (and new) friends?
Twenty years ago, Carol Lynn Pearson wrote a compelling autobiography, Goodbye, I Love You, in which she described her experiences meeting her husband Gerald at BYU, starting a family with him, and caring for him when he became sick with HIV/AIDS. Recently Pearson revisited the struggles of Mormon families with gay and lesbian members through a new book, No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones, and a new play, Facing East. At the conference in October, you will have the opportunity to get Carol Lynn to sign your copy of No More Goodbyes and hear her discuss Facing East, which is now playing off-Broadway in New York City. Affirmation member Lanette Graves will interview Carol Lynn during one of the sessions, in the style of the television show “Inside the Actor's Studio.” In addition, Sister Pearson will participate in the conference devotional. “I think a gay or lesbian Mormon can be a powerful pioneer in terms of mapping your own journey and following your personal wisdom, while learning from the experiences of others,” Pearson recently said in an interview. “Be brave enough even to carry in your handcart all of the good things you received from the Mormon community and teachings. Take only from religion and from society (even gay society) those things that resonate with the highest of who you really are.” Come hear firsthand Carol Lynn Pearson's beautiful and gracious outlook on life. If you haven't yet registered for the conference, visit http://conference.affirmationdc.org. To learn about Person’s most recent books and projects, visit www.NoMoreGoodbyes.com.
by Dave Melson June 2007 On the 11th of this month, Affirmation will be thirty years old. A lot has happened in the past thirty years, and this October in the District of Columbia, we plan to celebrate it all. In 1977, Jimmy Carter was in his first year in the White House, America was getting over its hangover from the Vietnam War, and a virus was just starting to form that five years later would mutate and cause something know as GRID (gay-related immune deficiency) or “the gay cancer,” and later be called AIDS. It was 15 years since Illinois had become the first state to decriminalize homosexual acts between consenting adults in private, and it was eight years after the Stonewall riots. There was still much controversy over the decision four years earlier in 1973 by the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from its list of recognized mental disorders. In 2007, Jimmy Carter has told us what he thinks of the sitting President, and we are in another war. We are learning to control, if not yet cure, HIV and AIDS, and one of the leading institutions in that field, the Whitman-Walker Clinic, will be participating in Affirmation’s 30th conference. Today, out LGBT police officers serve proudly, and one of them will be speaking at our October conference. Back then, most people considered lesbians and gays to be mentally ill, today we are able to be legally married—in one state and several other countries, at least—and a half dozen of the leaders in that battle are coming to Washington to tell you about it. In 1977, Lani Graves was a young mother with a house full of kids and was a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. This fall, Lani and her husband Robert will tell you how proud they are of their son and his partner and why they don’t sing in the choir any more. In 1977, a young divinity student in New Hampshire was living with the wife that he had married in Peterborough five years earlier and his two baby daughters. This fall, Gene Robinson will share with you the day when he returned to Peterborough, New Hampshire, with his former wife, his daughters, and his partner of then fourteen years, Mark, to be ordained as the Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire. In 1977, Carol Lynn Pearson was the epitome of “Mormon royalty.” Poet, playwright, author. She was one of the biggest selling authors at the corner Deseret Books. You won’t find her at Deseret Books today, but you will find her off-Broadway and probably on your own bookshelf, and you will find her in Washington this October at the Affirmation Conference. In 1977, the members of Affirmation used assumed names; it was generally understood that it would not be safe to use their real names. Two years later, Affirmation and its members gained mainstream national publicity for the first time while participating in the March on Washington for Gay Rights. The march took place on the National Mall in September of 1979. In October of 2007, Affirmation returns again, meeting on Capital Hill, just off the National Mall and within the shadow of the U. S. Capitol Building. Thirty years ago, BYU officials tried to track down and harass and persecute LGBT students, in 2007… OK, so it seems as though some things don’t change very much. But there are people putting themselves on the line to help bring change about a little faster. The BYU Soulforce riders will be sharing their experiences with us at this October’s conference. Some of you attending this year’s Affirmation Conference in Washington, D.C., were not alive in 1977, and you may even be attending your very first conference. Some of you have been around Affirmation from almost the very beginning. In any case, Affirmation has never been stronger. The caliber of leaders addressing an Affirmation conference has never been greater. This is Affirmation’s birthday party, our family reunion, our homecoming. Along with some incredible speakers and presenters, we have some fantastic entertainment, starting with a special performance by the D.C. Cowboys, and the day-time shopping and culture and the night-time sights and entertainment of one of America’s most gay and gay-friendly cities. Our world has changed a lot in the past thirty years. Being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or trans has changed in unimaginable ways since 1977. Affirmation has changed and evolved over three decades. On October 5, come join us as we explore how the changes of the last thirty years have made this collection of fifty states a more perfect union and what changes would make it even better. As we head into our fourth decade, Affirmation's mission continues to include helping our members perfect not only the country but also individual and family unions for GLBTI Mormons. Join us to hear the stories and share your own! “A More Perfect Union,” Washington, D.C., Columbus Day Weekend, October 5-7, www.affirmation.org/conference.
Lucio M. Becerra Translated Pages in a Cyber-café June 2007 A collaboration between two Affirmation members has resulted in the launching of “Afirmação no Brasil,” a website exclusively dedicated to supporting, educating, and inspiring Portuguese-speaking GLBT Mormons. The site was created by Lucio M. Becerra, a young gay Mormon man living in Brazil who translated the documents, and Brus Leguás Contreras, president of Affirmation Chile, who formatted the pages and provided space on the site of Affirmation Chile. “Lucio translated these pages under very difficult personal circumstances,” says Brus. “He’s having family difficulties and his local church leaders have threatened him with excommunication. On the top of that, Lucio doesn’t own a computer and has translated all these pages by purchasing time at a cyber-café.” The site currently features over 30 documents including “Gay Mormons of the 19tn Century,” “Frequently Asked Questions,” and “In the Beginning: A Brief History of Affirmation,” and is bound to keep growing. A heavy emphasis was placed on first-person accounts by gay Mormons living in Brazil, Portugal, and other parts of the world. “By acknowledging Lucio we give tribute to all those who work for Affirmation,” says Brus. “These materials, which Portuguese speakers found in the past hard to access, can now help tens of thousands of GLBT Mormons in Brazil to reconcile their sexual orientation and their spirituality.” To see the new website, visit www.afirmacion.cl/brasil. There are over 930,000 Latter-day Saints in Brazil.
“It is a great failure that the family can only be the family almost by the Ozzie and Harriet definition, and anything outside of that is not a family at all.” by Seba Martinez Artist Trevor Southey, feminist Margaret Toscano, and historian D. Michael Quinn were three of the people featured in the documentary The Mormons recently aired by PBS. The documentary, along with many of the interview transcripts, can be viewed at www.pbs.org. Renowned artist Trevor Southey talked about his experience as a Mormon man who, despite being gay, married and had children in an attempt to fit into Mormon culture. Some of Southey's remarkable paintings were prominently featured throughout the documentary. “Being gay in that culture is beyond hell,” said Southey. “When I went to those counselors I wanted to be cured so badly, I fasted and I prayed, and I went through this whole thing. And I remember dating girls, and nothing worked. And then I just decided, ‘This year I'm going to do it.’ And that's how I ended up marrying—within two and a half months of meeting my poor, unfortunate wife.” “We were determined to make [the marriage] work,” said Southey. “We bought this paradisiacal place in Alpine, Utah. I had everything I wanted: a stream running through this place, great big cottonwood trees, an old log cabin with a big cobblestone room attached to it. We built, and built, and built, and turned this little place into a paradise. And gradually these children come on to the scene. And it's heaven for them, an acre and a third to run wild on. And gradually, I gradually realized that I had paradise, but I was an arid desert in my heart. I'd wake up every day of my life thinking —and this phrase would just run through my head—‘And shot himself through the head.’ And it made no sense but it made every sense. There was no running away from it—that I was committing that kind of a spiritual suicide.” “The moment the infidelity occurred, that was it—the marriage was over and the excommunication process started. So there I was, standing on the grass by the stream, when [my wife] told me that she had gone to the bishop and there was no future there…. I was standing on this stage, in effect, that I had created, but it wasn't an act, it wasn't a play that was built for me.” “There's something terribly tragic that not only Mormons, but most religions have such a hard time with the odd ducks. The bottom line is-most of us are odd to a greater or lesser extent. And embracing the odd duck to me is the measure of true religion. True religion says, ‘You're weird, but I love you nonetheless.’ That's what Jesus would have done. So for me it is a great failure that the family can only be the family almost by the Ozzie and Harriet definition, and anything outside of that is not a family at all.” “I have no bitterness towards the Church—which surprises me. I loved it dearly and I still love it. I love Mormon people, I love the notions of Mormonism, the teaching that you are an eternal soul, you came from Heavenly Father and you're here because our family was meant for you. It makes me terribly sad at times that I can't be in that place.”
An instructor of classics and an author on Mormon topics, Margaret Toscano talked about her experiences being excommunicated from the Church. Toscano was disciplined for writing about women and the priesthood and the Mormon concept of Heavenly Mother. “I am Mormon on a deep level,” said Toscano. “And I do not believe that a community can be spiritually healthy when it silences people. That was my reason for not obeying the stake president in the first place. I told him at the time; I said, ‘I cannot be silent, because for me to be silent is to participate in an abuse of authority and to damage the community that I care about.’” “You have to imagine, when you a church disciplinary court, that you go in by yourself—You're not allowed to bring anybody with you. So I'm in there, and there are 16 men that I am facing.” “The stake president was presenting the case against me, and he did it in almost courtroom-like fashion. He had a set of notes, and he had his reasons why I should be excommunicated. He also had a stack of copies of everything that I had written, and it was kind of like just a stack.” “Then the stake president was saying that all I had written about women in the priesthood was really wrong, and I tried to come in to defend myself doctrinally by quoting Joseph Smith and by using argument and reason. In the middle of the sentence, the stake president interrupted me, and he said: ‘We will not allow you to lecture us. We will not allow you to use this kind of reasoning again. You're only allowed to speak as we give you permission.’ And of course I just kind of stopped mid-sentence. I couldn't go on, but you can imagine that this was—I mean, you don't really feel like you have much of a defense.” “Then they asked me to go out, and they deliberated for about 20 minutes and then brought me back in. I sat back down on the chair, and the first thing that the stake president said to me is, he said, ‘I want you to know that the high council was very impressed with you.’ [Laughs.] ‘However, you are excommunicated. We have found you to be an apostate.’” “And everybody got up, and they all wanted to shake my hand. They're cutting me off from eternal salvation and telling me that I'm this apostate, which really is considered very bad in Mormon culture, and then I'm this nice woman that they're going to shake my hand. There's something vicious about niceness that struck me in this—that the niceness covered over the violence of what was being done, because, in fact, excommunication is a violent action.”  Read Full Interview at www.pbs.org/mormons/interviews/toscano.html
During a part of the interview not included in the documentary, but posted on the PBS website, historian D. Michael Quinn, a gay Mormon man, talked about the breaking up of families that sometimes occurs when a LDS family find out that a loved one is gay. “LDS families are in this double bind,” said Quinn, “because they're told when they have gay children, follow that which is true. Avoid even the appearance of evil, and homosexuality is evil. So there has been almost a kind of expectation that if your child will not conform, then you should abandon them. And yet many families find this extremely difficult to do — not only the physical abandonment, but to give up the faith that this child, this homosexual child, and maybe his partner or her partner for life, may want to be with that family eternally. It creates this huge faith disjunction.” “You have to develop a private faith, which I have, that God accepts all loving relationships. But this separates you from the orthodoxy of the Mormon Church, and many gays and lesbians cannot make that step. They accept themselves as inferior eternally, because they've never been taught otherwise, and they don't have the individual testimony that I do. Maybe I'm wrong, but this is my faith. So for the mass of Mormon families this is an unresolvable tragedy.” Read Full Interview at www.pbs.org/mormons/interviews/quinn.html
Other Stories Recently Posted at www.affirmation.org No Money for Mormon Girl Who Sued over Saying “That's So Gay” www.affirmation.org/news/2007_055.shtml Utah Targets Suicide Epidemic www.affirmation.org/news/2007_054.shtml Affirmation: Singing the Songs of Our Redemption, 1977 to 2007 www.affirmation.org/memorial/singing_our_song.shtml
Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Alyson Bolles Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: (affirmationLDS  earthlink.net)
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