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By Fabio Antonio Fabio is a returned missionary and lives in São Paulo, Brazil, with his partner Leandro. This is the fifth in a series of articles showcasing the international face of Affirmation. My name is Fabio, and I am 24 years old. My English is not so good, but I think it is good enough for you to understand me. I have been a member of the Church all my life. After coming back from my mission, I decided to embrace my true self and accept the fact that I am gay. In the eyes of the Church, I had taken a dark path, and Church leaders excommunicated me. That made me angry and sad: I had been a good person all my life, followed the commandments, kept the Word of Wisdom, etc. I felt lost and thought that God didn't love me anymore. Like the Prodigal Son traveling into a distant country, I started to drink coffee, to smoke, and I even took drugs. That lasted for two years.
I have made many mistakes, but I know that I am a good person. The faith that the Church took away is now coming back to my life. I know God loves us. With clean hands and pure hearts, we will return to our eternal home.
Affirmation’s DC Conference, “A More Perfect Union,” is starting to look as though it may be one of the most special Affirmation Conferences in many years, and certainly one that you do not want to miss. Conference kicks off with not one, but four show-stoppers. Brett Parson was the leader and the driving force behind the Gay Lesbian Liaison Unit of the Metro DC Police Department and a nationally recognized leader in the LGBT community. You may have seen the story about him this Spring in The Advocate. Brett is also a former professional hockey player, and a former undercover drug agent, and an amazing speaker. (For $5 extra, he will also show you his handcuffs!) Buck Jeppson is a volunteer with the GLLU and has been the subject of much press attention over his fight to remain an active member of the LDS Church. Buck is one of the first prominent church members in the U.S. to be legally married to a spouse not of the opposite gender. The D.C. Cowboys were one of the biggest hits of the 2000 Conference, and they have only gotten better (looking) since. These gorgeous and talented guys will be making a special appearance, performing for you, and then teaching you a few dance steps. Everyone’s favorite “Mormon Boy” will then be taking the stage as Steven Fales offers us a preview of his new play opening next year, Mormon American Princess. The play deals with the trials of growing up Mormon, gay, and narcissistic in America – and who would be a better expert on the subject? Saturday morning, the tone changes as we hear from Lani Graves. You may remember her from the 2000 Affirmation Conference, from the 2006 Soulforce rally at BYU, or from her chapter in Carol Lynn Pearson’s book, No More Goodbyes. Lani is the mother of a gay son and a fascinating speaker. Our keynote speaker is a quiet man who is at the center of major controversy because he happens to be gay. V. Gene Robinson, the Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire, has known what it means to struggle literally since the day he was born. The doctors assured his parents that he would not live through his first day, so they named him Vicky (a name that they had chosen earlier hoping for a girl), knowing that it would not matter. One of the few people to appear on multiple covers of The Advocate, this is one of the great leaders of our day and someone that you do not want to miss hearing. Later in the morning, we hear from Carol Lynn Pearson. From her poem Exorcism in 1961 to A Busy Bishop’s Notebook ten years later, to Facing East in 2008, Carol Lynn’s published works are a history of the heart and soul and the joy and conflict and heartache of being Mormon in a modern world. In “A Conversation with Carol Lynn Pearson,” Carol Lynn will be interviewed by Lani Graves and will take questions. (Think Inside the Actors’ Studio.) She will also be speaking at the Awards Banquet on Saturday night and at the Devotional Service on Sunday morning, and will be signing copies of her books. On the subject of books, joining Carol Lynn Pearson at the book signing session are Jonathan Rauch and Ken Seifert. Jonathan Rauch is the author of Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America. Jonathan may by the most rational, most intelligent, and most persuasive advocate for LGBT civil rights that you have met. Ken Seifert is a young, politically active author with a new novel, The Rising Storm, that deals with faith, religion, and homosexuality in conflict in the Colorado Mountains. Harry Knox is an amazingly eloquent advocate and the director of Religious Affairs for The Human Rights Campaign (HRC). He is a man a great faith, great hope, and great realism. Also on the religious front, we have Velton Peabody. Velton is a member of the board of the Welcoming Community Network, which has been instrumental in the welcoming of LGBT members into full fellowship in the Community of Christ (formerly the RLDS Church) He is here to tell us what all has been going on in our sister church. Bridget Foster is the founder of The Safe Space Coalition, the group that is dedicated to finding a safe space for LGBT Latter-Day Saints in the LDS Church, and is known for organizing a campaign to send hundreds of pink flowers to the First Presidency as a means of getting the point across. Not enough? We have representatives from HRC and Whitman-Walker Clinic providing workshop sessions. A lawyer, and nurse, and a social worker will explain the options in building your own family through surrogacy or adoption. The Soulforce Riders who visited BYU and BYU Idaho a few weeks ago are coming to tell about their experiences. Award-winning actor and singer Will Gartshore will be performing on Saturday evening. Will is staring in a major production this fall, but is skipping a Saturday night performance to come entertain us. The Sunday morning devotional will feature Drew Evans (2004 Affirmation Writing Awards winner) and his partner Brian, Lani and Robert Graves, Carol Lynn Pearson, Buck Jeppson and his husband, Mike Kessler, and musical selections from renowned artist Tyler Clark, with Micah Bisson. James Kent will lead a recognition of those who left us through death over the past thirty years. Other Things to Do around D.C. Since we are in Washington, we have some special activities unique to our setting. The first people rounded up and sent to the concentration camps during the holocaust were the homosexuals. The pink triangular scraps of cloth that they were required to wear sewn to their clothing became a symbol for gays from that point onward. We have arranged a special tour of the United States Holocaust Museum. We will also be taking a tour of the National Museum of the American Indian, one of the newest museums to be built on the National Mall. A group of Congressional staffers will take us on a special and personal tour of the United States Capitol Building. And be sure to bring you camera on Friday morning when we visit the grounds of the largest and most architecturally unique modern Mormon temples, a latter-day Washington landmark, the Washington LDS Temple and Visitors Center (which is actually not in the District of Columbia at all, but is in Kensington, Maryland). And, if you don’t want to listen to speakers, Affirmation is helping to sponsor a 5K AIDS Walk/Run on Saturday morning to benefit AIDS treatment and research at Washington’s Whitman-Walker Clinic. More? Just a short walk from our conference hotel is Metro. Washington’s subway system will whisk you to the nightlife of Dupont Circle, to the monuments, to the National Zoo, or wherever you want to go, easily and economically. Metro will also take you to or from the airport. And, by the way, there are also going to be a couple hundred LGTB Mormons in town! Some of them will be old friends, and others will soon become old friends. After all, this is also Affirmation’s annual homecoming. Don’t Miss Out on This Conference! This year’s conference fee has been subsidized through donations and by the host chapter to make it easier for you to attend, and we have negotiated a great room rate at the conference hotel, the Hyatt Regency on Capitol Hill, but the discounts are not good forever! September 1, the conference fee of $159 ($139 if this is your first conference) goes up to $179, and the $149 room rate (for up to four in a room) goes to $300 or higher, if rooms are still available. Send in your registration and make your room reservation TODAY. Registration forms and hotel information are available at www.affirmation.org/conference. And if you are able, the Conference Committee is still accepting contributions toward the conference budget (see instructions on the registration form); contributions are tax deductible in most cases. Please join us in the District of Columbia this Columbus Day Weekend, October 5-7, for the 2007 Affirmation Conference, “A More Perfect Union.” Call for Nominations for the 2007 Mortensen Award The Deadline is September 10 It is time once again to call for nominations for Affirmation's highest honor, the Mortensen Award. The award is presented each year at our annual conference to an individual who has served Affirmation in outstanding leadership and service during the past year. The criteria for selecting a nominee should be:
Do not submit just a name. We need to know something about the individual since the committee may not know him/her well. The nominations must be received by September 10, 2007—no exceptions! E-mail them to the ; do not send copies to anyone else. Or mail them to the National Post Office Box: AffirmationThe award recipient will be announced at the Affirmation Conference in Washington, DC . The selection committee is made up of past recipients of the award. Be sure to show this letter to everyone in your area. You may be the one who should be nominated and you may not want to nominate yourself. Please note that a past recipient of the award can be nominated again for this year's Mortensen Award recipient. If you have any questions, . We look forward to seeing you at the Washington, DC conference, which is certainly going to be a great event. Please start thinking about this award today and get your nomination in tomorrow.
National Suicide Prevention Week Is September 9th-15th by Alyson Bolles, Senior Assistant Director As LGBT Mormons, we have lost too many people to suicide. Finding one's identity as a youth in a culture that gives support to heterosexuals in issues of relationships, expectations, and intimacy, is a daunting task for those whose thoughts, feelings, and identities are not validated. The effects on one's self-esteem, and the culminating self-hatred can be too much to handle with the lack of support and near invisibility in mainstream culture. A growing body of research literature has provided the estimate that gays, lesbians, and bisexual youth attempt suicide at a rate 2-3 times higher than their heterosexual peers. Some studies indicate that for transgender youth, the attempted suicide rate is higher than 50%. This September Affirmation will hold suicide vigils for our friends and family whom we have lost to suicide with the hope of reaching out to others for whom it is not too late. National Suicide Prevention Week is September 9th-15th. We encourage all chapters to participate by holding vigils in their own cities. Affirmation will provide handouts, a statement, flyers, as well as other materials and suggestions for holding these important gatherings. Please contact (alysonPDX  affirmation.org) or your chapter leader if you are interested in getting involved.
On June 26, Affirmation member Ben Jarvis was featured on National Public Radio’s Day to Day, in a segment about gay Mormons. Ben told NPR’s Alex Cohen that he has known he was gay since seventh grade when his teacher, in a sex ed class, mentioned homosexuality and put a name to what he was feeling. But Ben then read The Miracle of Forgiveness, in which Spencer W. Kimball calls homosexuality a perversion. “The book taught me to be afraid of my feelings,” Ben told NPR. “It taught me to be afraid of my body; it was a very confusing time.” A seventh-generation Mormon, Ben served an LDS mission, attended Brigham Young University, and was even briefly engaged to a girl. But when he decided to come out, a stake leader gave him a choice: Pretend to be straight, or leave the Church. Ben eventually left the Church. “You are not just walking away from a church, and you’re not just questioning a church,” Ben said in the interview. “You’re questioning the origin of the universe. You’re questioning reality. You’re questioning everything you thought was unquestionable.” Also interviewed by NPR, Affirmation’s executive director Olin Thomas talked about the role of Affirmation in providing a space for GLBT Latter-day Saints to reconnect with the cultural side of Mormonism. “When people in Affirmation get together, people want to sing the songs that they sang in Primary,” said Olin. “They want to talk about the filmstrips that were shown in their wards; and people make jokes about green jell-o!” Even though Ben is no longer an official member of the Church, he says he will always be a Mormon: “Here I am today probably more Mormon and certainly a better Mormon, as an atheist vegetarian, than I ever was when I was an active Latter-day Saint! And though it may sound strange, to me it makes perfect sense.” “I know who I am today,” Ben concluded, “I am not hiding who I am from my fellow humans. I know who I am, and I like that person.” The LDS Church would not agree to grant NPR an interview for this story, despite repeated requests by NPR producers. To listen to the segment, click on the Listen icon on the Day to Day archives. John Donald Gustav-Wrathall, a local Affirmation leader in Minneapolis, has published a personal essay in which he affirms both his relationship with his same-sex partner and his LDS identity. “I have been trying to define myself a middle path between the polar extremes of, on the one hand, embracing the Church and rejecting the love I share with my partner and, on the other hand, rejecting the Church and embracing my sexuality,” wrote John in the Summer 2007 issue of Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought. Although Apostle Dallin H. Oaks and Seventy Lance B. Wickman recently condemned same-sex relationships in an interview, calling homosexuality “an abominable sin,” John sees a positive connection between his relationship with his partner and his spirituality. “The basic sense of completion I find in my relationship with my same-sex partner suggests that my connection to him flows from a deeper spiritual reality,” John writes in his essay. In his interview with Church Public Affairs, Elder Wickman lamented that our society is saturated with sexuality and suggested that this saturation makes it harder for gay people to see beyond their sexual orientation. “I feel that Wickman’s... generalization about same-sex relationships misses an important point,” writes John. “We don’t enter into relationships and forge long-term commitments (such as my fifteen-year commitment with my partner) because we are succumbing to a sex-saturated culture. Ultimately, we enter into and maintain such commitments because we need and are nurtured by intimate love. We seek and enter into intimate relationships, not because we are gay but because we are human.” In the past John has written about his gay LDS identity in an essay in Sunstone magazine. To learn more about Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought, visit www.dialoguejournal.com.
We regret to announce the passing of Affirmation member Dorothy Colley. She passed away on Friday, June 29th after a lengthy illness. “Colley,” as she was known, was loved by all who knew her. Over the last ten year she held leadership positions in Affirmation including Women's Concerns, the Chapter-at-Large, and conference planning. In 1999 she chaired the Affirmation annual conference held in Lake Tahoe—the first time ever the conference was held in that town. A memorial service will be held on Saturday, July 14, at 4 p.m. at Circle's Edge Religious Science Church (on the 2nd floor of the Truckee River Terrace), 501 West First Street, Reno, NV 89503. An online tribute is permanently posted on the Affirmation website at www.affirmation.org/memorial_members/dorothy_colley.shtml. Born October 12, 1922, in New Orleans, Colley had been a Reno resident since 2000. During World War II, she was a member of the Women's Army Corp. She was an accomplished musician, playing french horn and trumpet in the Women's Army Band. Colley was a psychiatric social worker in the San Francisco Unified School District. She retired to Gold Hill, Nevada, and established the Gold Hill Pottery and Art Gallery in the Gold Hill Bank of California Building where she was able to share her artistic passion as a potter. Surviving Colley are her nieces, sisters-in-law, and companion Diane Gordon. In lieu of flowers, contributions to Circle's Edge are welcome. She was dearly loved by so many friends all over the world. She will be greatly missed.
Opening night of the 2007 Affirmation Conference will feature a special preview performance of excerpts from a new show slated for 2008 from Affirmation’s favorite “Mormon Boy.” Steven Fales’s latest confession? “God has seen me through excommunication, divorce, and drugs, now we’re working on narcissism—and it’s not going well.” Mormon American Princess is an exploration on narcissism using Steven Fales as a microcosm of our self-absorbed society. But with the help of his new Higher Power (She’s fabulous!), he’s beginning to see the light. Steven’s first solo piece, Confessions of a Mormon Boy, was previewed at the Salt Lake City Affirmation Conference in 2003, where he and his former wife Emily also discussed their trails together. Come see Steven this October at the Affirmation Conference in Washington. If you haven't yet registered, visit http://conference.affirmationdc.org.
Russ Gorringe and Joe Baker will tie the knot on July 28 in a covenant of holy union ceremony to be held at the United Church of Christ in Holladay, near Salt Lake City. Russ is an Affirmation member, a Gamofite, and a member of LDS Reconciliation. Joe comes from a Baptist background. Between the two of them, Russ and Joe have seven children and three grandchildren. Congratulations, Russ and Joe! Many years of happiness and bliss. Other Articles Recently Posted at www.affirmation.org A Gay Mormon Mission: A Conversation with Johnny Townsend http://www.affirmation.org/learning/johnny_townsend.shtml Bus Surfing, U.S.A.: A story by Johnny Townsend http://www.affirmation.org/learning/bus_surfing.shtml Mormon Senator Co-sponsors Bill for Tax Equality in Health Insurance www.affirmation.org/news/2007_061.shtml Filmmakers Looking for GLBT Mormon Stories www.affirmation.org/news/2007_063.shtml Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Alyson Bolles Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: (affirmationLDS  earthlink.net)
AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving
Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY
is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee.
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