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Affirmation 2008 Conference Report Prepared by James Kent and Hugo Salinas
“A Pearl of Great Price”
Introduction In an event marked by two same-sex weddings, some 120 lesbian and gay Mormons, along with spouses, family, and friends, converged October 10-12 in San Pedro, a sea port and beach community within Los Angeles, for the annual conference of Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons. Coinciding with the 30th anniversary of the Los Angeles chapter of Affirmation, the theme of the conference was “A Pearl of Great Price.” (Pearl is the jewel that corresponds to 30th anniversaries.) “Although Affirmation started thirty-one years ago in Salt Lake City, it would have withered on the vine were it not for the members in Los Angeles who formed a chapter thirty years ago and laid the foundation for the current organization,” wrote executive director Olin Thomas in the conference program. “I am very conscious of the rich history of Affirmation in Los Angeles as we approach the 30th anniversary of the writing of our charter by Paul Mortensen and a small group of gay Mormon pioneers.” Friday Events On Friday afternoon, Affirmation held its annual Council of Chapter Representatives meeting, reporting on the state of Affirmation and inviting representatives from each area of the country to present reports. The main program conference started at 6:30 PM with appetizers and remarks by LA City Councilman Bill Rosendahl. A dynamic, lively, and humorous gay man, Bill welcomed us to Los Angeles with a written proclamation from City Hall which was presented as a gift to Affirmation’s executive director Olin Thomas. Entertainment was then provided by Sister Connie Lingquist (impersonated by Darrell Holman), who took us down memory lane and led us in singing old Primary songs, including “Good afternoon, Dear Little Friend,” “When We’re Helping,” and “I Have Two Little Hands.” Sister Lingquist brought object lessons that Primary and Sunday School sometimes use to teach their students about purity: She hammered a nail into a block of wood, asked a volunteer to squeeze a banana and compare it to a fresh banana, and illustrated the magic of repentance by adding Clorox to a red dye. Saturday Workshops
On Saturday, during breakfast, Brett Bradshaw and others made a presentation about Proposition 8, a ballot measurer which would ban marriage equality in California. We are sorry to report that this controversial measure, aiming at enshrining discrimination in the California constitution, passed three weeks after the conference. Under a directive from Church headquarters, Mormons donated $20 million, making it the most expensive campaign of this election cycle with the single exception of the national presidential campaign. The Saturday morning workshops were instructional, entertaining, and often very moving. Family Fellowship co-founder Gary Watts shared his frustrations around the LDS involvement with Proposition 8 and read from correspondence he recently exchanged with two general authorities. John Giardina spoke about prosperity and said that our beliefs about money affect every other aspect of one’s life: love, creativity, and friends. George Cole discussed how the rising generation of queer Mormons approaches the challenges of reconciling sexuality and spirituality. Russ Baker-Gorringe and Joe Baker-Gorringe talked about the journey that brought them to accept their sexual orientation, find each other, and decide to get married. Renowned Mormon historian Michael Quinn made a presentation on gay and lesbian myth, legend, art, and artifacts of the ancient and modern world. Rod Kempton, a coach and success strategist, explored how individual core values can bring joy and fulfillment into our lives. Bill and Joyce Baxter, who were active church members for 44 years, spoke about the amazing new journey they began when their daughter Colleen came out as a lesbian. Bret Bradshaw spoke about the impact of Proposition 8 on the LBGT Mormon community. At lunchtime, three different groups gathered for lunch, including women, young adults, and Gamofites (gay Mormon fathers). Many others went out for lunch in different restaurants or ate in the hotel. During the Gamofite lunch, attended by some 25 Mormon fathers, it was announced that the Michael Farr Award was given this year to Buckley Jeppson. Weddings: “I Do! I Do!”
The afternoon was marked by a historic event: Two well-known Affirmation couples, Joe Baker and Russ Gorringe, and Mike Green and Scott Mills, were legally married in the presence of many Affirmation friends. What was even more special, Paul Mortensen’s husband Robert Jacob officiated for both ceremonies. Paul and Robert have been together for almost 31 years, and they were recently married themselves after the California Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality. “Marriage is a promise made in the hearts of two people who love each other,” said Robert Jacob as he married Mike and Scott. “Today Scott and Mike are ready to take this commitment. Like Russ and Joe earlier, Scott and Mike are pioneers this day. May you all be supportive of this new adventure.” The two ceremonies were marked by applause, cheering, hugs, and many tears. Banquet Honors Affirmation Members, Supporters For the evening banquet, the tables featured delicate orchids which had been picked very early that morning by conference organizer Ricky Gilbert. The chairs were adorned with beautiful shinning pearls. James Kent later explained that as the organizing committee was choosing the theme for the conference (“A Pearl of Great Price”), Imelda committed to send 144 yards of pearls that had once hung from her four-poster bed in San Francisco. During the banquet, Affirmation paid tribute to Laura Compton, a young Mormon mom from Cupertino, California. Along with husband Todd, Laura courageously spoke out in favor of marriage equality at a time when the Church was threatening with disciplinary actions many Mormons who opposed Proposition 8. “As Church leaders continue to spread fear and misinformation on the issue of same-sex marriage, Affirmation is grateful to be able to count on a network of people who have stepped forward in support of marriage equality,” said Hugo Salinas. “We are honored to have with us tonight Laura Compton, who plays a prominent role in an organization called Mormons for Marriage. Laura doesn’t have the resources that the LDS Church has, but she has something better: the truth is on her side.” Executive director Olin Thomas presented the Affirmation Writing Awards, which were reinstated for 2008 as a contest with a particular emphasis on letters to the editor and opinion editorials which affect public opinion on matters of concern to gay & lesbian Mormons. An Honorable Mention was awarded to Lavina Fielding Anderson for an editorial published in By Common Consent, the newsletter of the Mormon Alliance. Third Place and an award of $200 went to Paula Goodfellow for a public forum letter in the Salt Lake Tribune. Second Place and an award of $300 were presented to Robert Parker for a commentary in Arizona’s East Valley Tribune. First prize and a $500 award were given to Carol Lynn Pearson for a Salt Lake Tribune letter to the editor titled “We Can Change History for Gay LDS.” For more information about these awards, visit www.affirmation.org/news/2008_060.shtml.
The Mortensen Award, Affirmation’s highest honor, was presented by last year's recipients James Morris and Aaron Vinck. James announced four nominees: Carlos Mitchell, from Los Angeles; George Cole, from San Francisco; Dave Melson from Washington DC; and Jason Giles, from Portland. The award was given to Jason Giles, director of the Portland Chapter. Jason was praised for the resounding success of his local chapter and the wonderful Affirmation conference he helped plan in his city for 2006. “This year I’ve been blown away by many experiences, and this is probably one of the big ones,” said Jason as he accepted the award. “I love Affirmation, it’s been a huge blessing in my life. I’m constantly excited to try to keep getting our name out there and help the people who don’t know about us, because I know Affirmation really changes lives. I am thrilled to be here among you again, and I’m pretty much speechless. Thank you.” For more information about this award, visit www.affirmation.org/ conference_archives/ 2008_mortensen_award.shtml.
“We are all embedded in a vast system of things that change,” McCue explained, “and we change ourselves. We are all subject to evolutionary forces. And when we feel more authentic, generally it’s because something has changed to create more resonance in our relationship between ourselves and our intimate partners, our families, and our culture.” McCue’s presentation focused particularly on a picture of Trevor Southey’s recent work “Dark Light,” which McCue said illustrates death and rebirth. “What most inspires me about this work is the cross.” he said. “That still is a central symbol for me. The symbol of the cross is not about the death of a human being, but about rebirth. Death is part of life.” After the keynote speech, we enjoyed a show by the improvisational comedy group “The Gay Mafia,” which used ideas taken from Mormonism, together with concepts and questions thrown in by the audience, to create an unforgettable, side-splitting show. Sunday Devotional The Sunday devotional opened with “The Sprit of God,” a piano duet played by new husbands Mike Green and Scott Mills. In a program prepared and conducted by Ben Jarvis, the main speaker was Joan Atkinson, who along with her husband Bill recently returned from a mission to New Zealand. Joan spoke about her gay son and lesbian daughter.
Joan shared the heartache when her son Dale called her to tell her he wanted to come home--he was dying of AIDS-related complications--at the age of 25. Joan’s daughter is legally married to her partner, and they have adopted a daughter. Joan talked about the experience of becoming more opened about talking about her gay children with other Mormons, and how that had a positive influence in the lives of others. The devotional featured traditional Mormon songs, including “I Am a Child of God,” “If You Could Hie to Kolob,” “They, the Builders of the Nation,” “As I Have Loved You,” “Because I Have Been Given Much,” and “Come, Come Ye Saints.” James Kent conducted the memorial section of the devotional. The east wall of the devotional room was the memorial wall, honoring the memory of some of those whom we have lost. During the weekend, conference attendees were invited to use color markers and easel-sized sheets to write tributes and memories of Affirmation members and friends who have passed on. Names were spoken aloud and memories were shared. Brunch and Queen Mary Tour During the Sunday brunch, Hugo Salinas presented a framed picture to Olin Thomas, who after serving for five consecutive years as Affirmation’s executive director has decided to take a well-deserved break. The picture showed the Affirmation members who attended the leadership meeting held in Denver in 2006. We honor Olin for his tireless work at the helm of Affirmation, his wisdom, his patience, and his perseverance in the face of difficulties. Senior Assistant Director David Melson, from the Washington DC chapter, presented his candidacy for executive director during 2009. David’s full statement of candidacy appears in the November/December issue of Affinity and is also posted on the Affirmation website.
Even though the conference ended with the brunch, a sizable group of Affirmation members carpooled to Long Beach for a private tour of the luxury liner, the Queen Mary. Our tour guide Dustin made our excursion a lot of fun, and we had chance to see rooms usually closed to public, including the luxurious first class dining room and the exclusive Verandah Grill restaurant and club. “How great it was to wake up and have a view of the Pacific Ocean from our hotel room!” reflected Kraig Stephens after the conference. “What a well planned and executed conference San Pedro was! The conference, being in Southern CA, brought back memories of fun times with many associates. Chris and I have been rewarded to maintain association with our Affirmation Family. It has been a long time since we have been to the LA area; and suddenly, we are older. Thanks everyone for another chapter of memories!” Many thanks to the committee that made this conference a reality: Ricky Gilbert, Carlos Mitchell, Ben Jarvis, Paul Mortensen, Robert Jacob, Chey Martineau, Ken Salzmann, Jimmy Dinh, Dan Nelson, Mark Nielsen, Scott Osmond, Ken Taylor, Rod D., and Mike Miner. God be with you til we meet September 18-21 in Salt Lake City.
David Melson's Statement of Candidacy October 2008 I am declaring my candidacy for the office of Executive Director for the year 2009. I have served Affirmation this past year as the Senior Assistant Executive Director and as the Washington Chapter Director for the past four years. I was also the Conference Director for the 2007 Affirmation Conference in Washington, D.C. For the past five years, Olin Thomas has laid down a great base for us to build upon. His tenure as Executive Director represents the greatest period of stability in the history of Affirmation. We have seen the start of a major shift in the church’s approach to gay members, and tremendous growth in chapters and groups outside of the United States. This past summer, Affirmation’s leadership had the great privilege to offer a presentation at the Sunstone Symposium. I am grateful to have been able to serve with Olin and with the other members of the Executive Committee: James, Alyson, Hugo, Bruce, Aaron, and Buck. For the year ahead, there are ten areas in which I feel we have both an obligation and an opportunity to expand our efforts and to make a difference. Each of these areas is vital to the continued growth, relevancy, and success of Affirmation in our second thirty years. 1. Chapters. The heart and soul of Affirmation are its chapters. But too many of our chapters struggle and too many members and potential members do not have a chapter in their area. It is my vision to have an active Chapter Development Committee this coming year. This committee will develop a means of turning the requests that we receive for groups and chapters into new chapters, hopefully adding at least three or four new chapters each year. Any city with a temple certainly has a population of people who need the support of an Affirmation chapter. The committee will also work with existing groups to help them attain the status of chapter, and with chapters to share best practices and to strengthen each of our chapters. 2. Young Adults. Affirmation began thirty-one years ago on a college campus. Most of the leaders in those early years were people in their twenties and thirties, and we are fortunate that so many of them, including Paul Mortensen, the Father of Affirmation, are still an active and vital part of Affirmation today. But these people that were in their twenties and thirties in the 1970s, are in their fifties and sixties today. If you look around the room at an Affirmation Conference, we are becoming a little grayer each year. Now all of this gray represents a tremendous amount of wisdom, which is a wonderful thing, but to survive another thirty years, and to thrive today, we need some younger blood. Many of the people who should be taking their place are not here; we lost much of an entire generation to war and to AIDS. It is up to the rising generation, people who are now in their twenties and thirties, to prepare to lead Affirmation, but this cannot happen unless they are here. To this end, we have formed an active Young Adults committee this year to identify and address the needs of members in their twenties, and to attract new members. In 2009, we will hold a Young Adult Conference. A major priority will be to attract young people to Affirmation, give them a voice, and give them an opportunity to serve. 3. Leadership. In order to make Affirmation relevant and meaningful to all of its members, its members need to be more fully involved in Affirmation. In order for this “rising generation” to be able to lead Affirmation into the future, their members need to be fully involved in Affirmation and in learning to lead. We are often critical of some of the high leadership of the church who see little except the inside of the church headquarters ivory tower during the week and the inside of a stake center on the weekends where they meet the same people and give the same talk each week. Affirmation sometimes does not do much better. Our leadership needs to be more than just the six faces on the Executive Committee. We need more voices and more opportunities to serve and to gain experience in leadership within the organization. Each of the areas that I am discussing here will need a good chairperson or director to lead our efforts, with a capable committee to guide and support them. It is my goal to find people to fill each of these positions, to support each chairperson or director with ongoing one-on-one training by a member of the Executive Committee, and to provide the resources to help them train each of the members of their committees. I once served under a wise stake president whose philosophy was, “Everything that I ever needed to know about running a successful stake I learned in the Deacons Quorum presidency.” Those of you who have had the opportunity may recognize the model. 4. Cornerstones. Affirmation holds three types of gatherings on a national or international basis: annual conferences (which involve the entire membership), Executive Committee meetings (to which all are invited but which routinely consist of only the six to eight members of the top leadership), and cornerstones. A cornerstone is a mini-conference focusing on either a particular segment of our members, such as young adults, or transgender members, or women, for example, or upon a limited geographical area, such as the Mexico City cornerstone conference a few years ago. My vision is to hold two to three cornerstone conferences each year, to be held in conjunction with meetings of the Executive Committee. One of the first will be the 2009 Young Adult Cornerstone. 5. LDS church relations. Earlier this year, the Executive Committee sent a letter to Thomas Monson inviting the leadership of the LDS Church to meet with the leadership of Affirmation. He accepted. You may have heard something about what followed. It is my goal to continue to pursue a meeting with the First Presidency of the Church. Regardless of whether you love the church or hate it, regardless of whether you have ever been a Mormon or not, if you are gay, the LDS Church affects your life, and often in a negative way. The LDS Church is one of the largest sources of funding for anti-gay political activity in the United States. Through botched attempts at counseling, or intimidation, or so-called “reparative therapy,” well intentioned or otherwise, the LDS Church has been responsible for destroying families, for forcing teens into homelessness and a life of living on the streets to survive, and for the deaths of uncounted numbers of gay men and women. This must all end now, and no one is in a better position to help change this than Affirmation. We have staked out the moral high ground, and we will continue to hold forth an invitation to meet with church leaders and for them to come meet with us. When the church’s rhetoric quiets, when their fear subsides, and when the hatred ebbs, then the entire LGBT community, the country, and the planet will have become a safer and better place. 6. Communication. It does not matter what the Executive committee does nor how pure their motivations are unless there is strong two-way communication between the Executive Committee and the membership whom they are called to serve. In addition to the monthly Affinity updates, in 2009, there will be a weekly e-mail from a member of the Executive Committee to all registered Affirmation members with an e-mail address on file, and an annual “State of Affirmation” reporting at conference. During the year, the Affirmation blog will be enhanced, and registered Affirmation members will have access to a special site, with questions answered promptly by a member of the Executive Committee. 7. International. Affirmation exists right now as five almost separate organizations. There is Affirmation U.S., which exists in the annual conference and in the U.S. chapters. There is Affirmation South America, very active and vibrant, but very different from the U.S. organization in function and attitude, and separated by visa regulations, culture, and finances. Then there is Affirmation International, very loose knit, very independent. The Chapter-at-Large crosses into all three of these groups and into the fifth, Affirmation On-Line. I would like to see us bring these groups together into one cohesive organization. Members and chapters outside of the United States need to feel that they are full and equal members and that Affirmation is truly an international organization; this will require a rethinking on the part of some of our American leadership. We need to be more aggressive in establishing chapters outside of the United States and then supporting those chapters with training and communication. The links between the English web site and our many non-English sites needs to more obvious, and we need to work toward establishing regional leadership on each continent. 8. Gay Mormons. There are literally thousands of gay Mormons who want and need the support of Affirmation, who need the alternatives and the guidance that Affirmation can supply, who do not know that we exist. We need to do a better job of reaching out to them, through local LGBT organizations, through the media, through literature for use by local church leaders and community support groups. This will be an important area of focus in 2009. 9. Youth outreach. People are coming out of the closet much earlier than ever before, and we have gay LDS teens and pre-teens who are facing very different problems than we did when we came out at 19 or 20 or 30. While there are some definite limits as to what we can do within our current structure, there is so much more that we can and should be doing. We can help these kids find the resources in their community that can assist them, and then we can prepare the people staffing those resources with information on the special needs and backgrounds of LDS kids. Even within our limitations, we can change lives, and even save lives. The responsibility is upon us to take action in this area as quickly as possible, which we will do in 2009. 10. LGBT community outreach. We do not stand alone in the gay community. As we saw at the 2007 conference in Washington, and in our associations this year with GLAAD, Equality California, Utah Pride, and others, there are many, many other groups out there, and many of them in a position to help us accomplish our mission far more effectively than we could on our own. Within our own faith culture, we have Family Fellowship, Reconciliation, Gamofites, and others that share a common background and common goals. At this point in our mutual history, there is certainly strength in numbers as we come within sight of a sea change in the mores of our society. Thirty years ago, I am not certain that any of those people huddled with Matt Price at BYU, or sitting around Paul Mortensen’s apartment in West Hollywood, could have accurately pictured what Affirmation would look like in 2008, just as we have no idea what it will look like in 2037. What I do know, though, is that it will be different than it is today, led by a new generation who will have built on the foundation laid over the past three decades. For those who have come before us, from Matt Price and Paul Mortensen to Olin Thomas, we say thank you, for you have truly built better than you know. For those who are about to step up into positions of leadership over the coming months and years, welcome, you hold all of our hopes and our prayers, you are truly Saturday’s gay little warriors. And for those of us who are privileged to straddle these two eras in the history of God’s gay children, we are truly blessed and humble. Over the next year, I promise that I will listen to you, serve you, and do all that I can to leave our little piece of this world better than I found it. I take this office very seriously, I am thankful for all that Affirmation has given me, and I am humbled by your love and by your support. I hope that you will allow me to serve as your Executive Director for 2009. Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons P.O. Box 46022 Los Angeles, CA 90046 National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421 To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters Executive Director: Olin Thomas Senior Assistant Director: Dave Melson Assistant Director: James Morris Associate Director & Affinity Editor: Hugo Salinas www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity Send Us Your Submission! AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee. Submissions are welcome and should be limited to 250 words. To contact us, visit www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, national committee or publisher, but rather the individual writers. The Editor reserves the right to edit any material deemed offensive, libelous, grammatically incorrect or lengthy. About AFFINITY AFFINITY is available both as an email text and as a web-based document. Although both versions are free of charge, we encourage you to become a dues-paying member and thus help us advance Affirmation's important mission. If you wish to receive a text version of AFFINITY by email, simply send a request to Hugo Salinas by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. If you are a dues-paying member and do not have Internet access, you may request a printed version that will be sent to you by mail. |
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1996-2008 Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons
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