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Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons—Serving Gay & Lesbian Mormons and Their Family and Friends Since 1977
David Melson
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Editorial: The Words of Men, the Acts of Angels
In the six months since the last General Conference, much has happened
by David Melson, Executive Director
April. In the six months since the last General Conference, much has happened. Our world has become a slightly more hostile place, our civil liberties have been reduced for a season, relatives have become estranged, and many of our friends have left the church, resigning their membership. Church leaders have gone out of their way to preach that they love gay people, that gay men and women should have rights to housing and to employment without fear of discrimination, and couples should have hospital visitation rights and inheritance rights. And then these same leaders made sure that the legislative proposals that would have codified these basic rights never saw the light of day. With lies and with money, they proved, during Prop 8 and since, that you really can buy anything on this earth.
Last November, we marched, we protested, and we let the world -- and the Church -- know that we have had enough, that this time they had gone too far. The organizer of one of the November protests, drawing over 3,000 to a march on Temple Square, was Jacob Whipple. Jacob is back, and he is leading another protest, during General Conference weekend. But this time, no one is carrying signs, stopping traffic, or shouting. This April, while church leaders are sharing eloquent words that will fade quickly away, Jacob is doing something. He is leading people, gay and straight, from all over the Salt Lake Valley, in going out and helping others. Service projects. Christ-like charity, the stuff they talked about in Primary and Deacons’ Quorum and Laurels’ Class years ago.
If you are in Salt Lake City, I encourage you to join with Jacob. The Salt Lake Affirmation Chapter has projects already arranged; give them a call.
Most of you are not in Salt Lake. Get on the phone now and get something set up wherever you are this month. Make this an Affirmation April, find a bunch of gay Mormons and gay non-Mormons and straight people, and do something good and significant and nice for someone. Do this as a chapter in place of your regular meeting , do it on your own, do it with a couple of friends, or do it with a couple of former friends. Who knows, you might meet the person of your dreams while planting a garden for a seniors’ home. And if not, you will still leave feeling good, and proving a point.
We are tired of nice words with no meaning, and we are not going away.
“We’ll go to the poor like our Captain of old
And visit the weary, the hungry and cold…”
Affirmation Calendar 2009
March 19 - April 5
“Facing East” staged in San Diego
April 1-17
“Dottie Dixon” staged in Salt Lake City
April 11-12
Service Events Held in Utah (Notice change of dates)
April 17-19
Cornerstone Conference in Phoenix
June
Pride celebrations held across the world
June 8
Anniversary of the revelation that lifted the ban on African-Americans males holding the priesthood (1978)
June 11
Anniversary. Affirmation was organized on this day in Salt Lake City (1977).
July 18
Young Adult Cornerstone in San Francisco
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July 24
Pioneer Day
August 3
Deadline for submissions to the Affirmation Writing Awards
August 21
Deadline to register for the annual conference at reduced rate of $159
September 5
Deadline to register for the annual conference at reduced rate of $179
September 18-20
Affirmation's Annual Conference in Salt Lake City, UT
October 11
National Coming Out Day
December 1
World AIDS Day
December 8-9
Anniversary. Affirmation was organized nationally in Los Angeles (1979).
December 25
Christmas
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An Affirmation Arizona April Affair
Join Affirmation for a the First Cornerstone Conference to Feature a Parade
It’s been a long winter, money’s tight, what to do?
Come join us for the Affirmation Phoenix Cornerstone Conference and Phoenix Pride Festival in Arizona, April 17-19. You will enjoy the first major Pride celebration of the year, meet up with some of the Affirmation friends that you normally only get to see at the annual conference, learn a little, and get to enjoy some desert sun and spectacular scenery.
A cornerstone is a much more informal conference with a much smaller number of people. This conference will focus on strengthening both Affirmation chapters and the individual Affirmation experience. Aimed toward people from the Southwest, the conference is open to Affirmation members and friends from anywhere. Conference Directors David Douglass and Tony Gale have promised a great weekend, with workshops, speakers, and even a little magic.
The conference is scheduled around the events of the Phoenix Pride celebration, which takes place on Saturday and Sunday, and includes a two-day festival, parade, pageant, and a lot of party. You can catch some of the sites and find suggestions for hotel accommodations at www.PhoenixPride.org. The conference is being held just a few blocks from the festival.
Affirmation’s Executive Committee will also be meeting in Phoenix, and you are welcome to drop in on their meetings and your EC in action. Members of the Executive Committee will also be among the speakers during the Cornerstone events.
You can register for the conference and get more information at www.affirmation.org/news/2009_025.shtml. See you in Phoenix!
Salt Lake Conference Registration Now Open
Registration and Hotel Fees Unbeatable Deals
Affirmation is announcing unbeatable deals for the 2009 Affirmation Conference to be held in Salt Lake City September 18-20, with basic registration at $159 and hotel rooms at an amazing $89 per night.
The basic registration rate of $159 is for current Affirmation members who register before August 22. First-time attendees and full-time students can take advantage of an early $139 deal if they meet the deadlines. For more information and to fill out your registration, visit www.affirmation2009.com/register.shtml. For information about applying for a need-based scholarship, please visit http://www.affirmation.org/conference/financial_assistance.shtml or read the second page of the registration form.
The University of Utah Guesthouse is offering rooms at unbeatable prices, starting at $89 for single or double occupancy, $99 for triple, and $109 for quadruple occupancy. This means that if you share a room with three other people, you will be spending about $28 per night. For more information on how to make reservation, visit www.affirmation2009.com/hotel.shtml.
Please notice that conference fees do not cover the entire cost of the conference. Your donations to help defray the cost of the conference and your donations to the Irwin Phelps Scholarship fund are both needed and welcomed.
At this time of economic hardship, Affirmation is making efforts to keep the conference at a very reasonable rate. Whether you are an old-timer or this is your first conference, please consider attending our annual family reunion. You will make new friends, get reacquainted with old ones, and have a weekend experience you’ll never forget.
George Cole (center), Connell O'Donovan (above word “allies”) and Clark Pingree (with sign “Gay Mormon Who Loves the Gays”) were part of a larger contingent of gay Mormons who participated in the March 4 event for marriage equality |
Gay Mormons and Allies Participate in Marriage Equality Event
They Demonstrate in San Francisco Hours before Proposition 8 Hearings
April 2009
Organized by Affirmation member Connell O'Donovan, a contingent of gay Mormons participated in the March 4 demonstrations for marriage equality. The demonstrations were held hours before the California Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the suits that seek to repeal Proposition 8.
In a recent essay, Connell noticed that there are similarities between the misleading arguments the LDS Church used to help repeal Proposition 8 and the rhetoric the Christian right used in the 1970s to fire gay teachers from schools. “Once again, we heard the cry, ‘Save the children! They'll be taught that homosexual relationships are normal and healthy - worthy of civil marriage!’”
“Public educational procedures are already firmly in place and would not have been affected one iota by legalized same-sex marriage,” Connell added. “Even otherwise, so what if 25 straight kids have to find out (in an age-appropriate manner, of course) that Gay people exist and can get legally married; the two young Gay or Lesbian children who are in the same class NEED to hear it more desperately than you can imagine. I promise that none of the straight kids in the class are going to be adversely affected by acknowledging Gays and same-sex marriage; none will wake up one morning, newly recruited into homosexuality.”
“I’m cautiously optimistic that the Court will repeal the amendment,” wrote Affirmation's Assistant Director George Cole, who marched with the Mormon group. “Among the arguments against Prop. 8 is that it violates the equal protection clause of the California Constitution.”
“While we hope for the best, by now we have learned to also be prepared for the worst," George added. “I would encourage you to continue to make your voice heard as far and as clearly as possible. There have been threats made to wage a well-funded and well-organized campaign to recall any of the Justices who vote to overturn Prop 8; such campaigns have occasionally been successful in the past in California. And so, while Supreme Court Justices are not supposed to be swayed by public opinion, your voice, on top of all of the others, might be the one that gives a fourth Justice the courage to do what is right.”
Gay Mormons Challenge LDS Claim of Being “Reasonable and Respectful”
12 March 2009
In a March 9 media release, LDS leaders warned of stereotyping of Mormon characters in the upcoming HBO series, “Big Love,” and bemoaned previous media attacks—including gays using media to accuse Mormons leaders of being “hateful.”
In response, leaders of Affirmation, a worldwide organization of gay Mormons, challenged the leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS).
“Mormon leaders need to understand that their center stage role in the anti-gay campaign in California contributes to Mormons being stereotyped as, using their words, ‘unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and self-righteous,’ which they sincerely want to avoid,” said David Melson, Executive Director of Affirmation.
“We agree that the depiction of temple rituals, the most sacred part of Mormon worship, as a plot line in a television show is in very bad taste,” Melson said. “But we are hoping that such stereotyping of Mormons can help the leaders of the LDS church to understand the feelings of many of its gay members when they are stereotyped and disparaged.
“In the March 9 media statement, LDS Church leaders stated that ‘the Church has refused to be goaded into a Mormons versus gays battle and has simply stated its position in tones that are reasonable and respectful.’ But, LDS leaders need to understand the harm done to all Americans when civil liberties in California and other parts of the country are eliminated no matter what tone of voice is used.
“And, we challenge LDS leaders to live up to their goal of fairness in media by announcing a hands-off policy at the LDS-owned Deseret News. In recent weeks, nine reporters of the Deseret News, the largest newspaper in Utah, announced that they received an editorial directive before the marriage campaign in California which prohibited them from publishing any negative news stories toward the Mormon Church or positive toward gay people. The LDS church must be ‘reasonable and respectful’ by reversing the demotion of editorial staff due to their disputes with Editor Joe Cannon over this directive.
“Finally, we challenge LDS leaders to be “reasonable and respectful” by supporting civil rights for gay people like job protection, housing protection and freedom from violence. Despite public statements that the church is not in conflict with extending these protections, when related legislation came to the Utah legislature recently, the church, which holds vast political influence in Utah, maintained a public silence, and no legislation passed.
“Affirmation Mormons—and all Mormon families whose sons and daughters, brothers and sisters are gay—want to see LDS leaders be ‘reasonable and respectful’ by truly supporting all civil liberties for gay people and by announcing to all Mormon families to accept their gay family members for who they are—children of God. It’s time to stop harming gay people—even when it is done in a nice tone of voice.”
Paul Schiminsky (left) and Jason Firth |
Jason Firth and Paul Schiminsky Say “I Do!”
They had a commitment ceremony in Deer Valley, Utah
March 2009
Longtime Affirmation member Jason Firth and his partner Paul Schiminsky recently had a commitment ceremony in Deer Valley, Utah. Even though they live in Las Vegas, they decided to have the ceremony in Utah because Jason’s family and many of their friends live there. Paul’s parents, brothers, and sister flew out for the event.
“Although we know it’s not legal, we decided to do it for ourselves,” Firth
said. “This was a personal decision about our personal lives.”
“Jason’s parents had bought their rings for their 50th anniversary, and we went to the same jeweler and we couldn’t have had a more positive response,” Paul said. “In fact, everyone in Utah was extremely pleasant to work with.”
“I was really overwhelmed by the support of my very Mormon family during our wedding,” Jason said. “I just didn't expect it. My brother, currently a bishop in Logan, was the MC and did such a great job. Aunts and Uncles and cousins that I thought didn't even know was gay came to the ceremony and had a great time. As word got around about our wedding, I've gotten unexpected letters of support and congratulations from my mission president, old mission companions, friends from BYU, and others.”
Congratulations, Jason and Paul! May you have many years of love and joy.
Lani (center) and Robert Graves (holding award) with their son James, their daughter-in-law Martha, and their daughter Bonnie. |
Lani and Robert Graves Receive “Faith in Action” Award
“Robert and Lani have severed as the loving, understanding, compassionate parents to thousands of gay people who did not find support from their own parents”
David Melson
March 2009
“When the religion of dogma or doctrine comes in conflict with the religion of love, then the choice should be obvious for the person of faith.” This came from Tony Award-winning actor Alan Cumming in remarks that he delivered March 21 to the Twelfth annual PFLAG Gala in Washington, D.C. Other speakers and honorees included West Hollywood Councilman and Equality California President John Duran, actor Cheyenne Jackson, and former NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue and his wife Chandler. But by far the most applause, including four standing ovations, was offered to Affirmation members Robert and Lani Graves, who received the PFLAG “Faith in Action” Award for their work with PFLAG, Affirmation, and Family Fellowship. (Robert and Lani spoke at the 2007 Affirmation conference in Washington, and at the 2002 Conference in Las Vegas.)
In their introduction, it was pointed out that “Robert and Lani have severed as the loving, understanding, compassionate parents to thousands of gay people who did not find support from their own parents.” The Graves’ home has been the site of many Affirmation and Gamofite activities, including an annual Thanksgiving dinner that attracts Affirmation members from literally all over the United States.
In her acceptance speech, Lani, a former member of the Tabernacle Choir, spoke about how her only choice as a mother was to do all that she could to accept, love, and support her gay son, quoted the words of a Mormon hymn:
“Do what is right; the day-dawn is breaking,
Hailing a future of freedom and light.
Angels above us are silent notes taking
Of every action; then do what is right!
Do what is right; let the consequence follow,
Battle for freedom in spirit and might;
And with stout hearts look ye forth till tomorrow.
God will protect you; then do what is right!”
Sixth-generation Mormons, Robert and Lani resigned their membership in the LDS church following the Church’s actions surrounding Prop 8. The Graves were recently featured in the American Public Television broadcast, “Anyone and Everyone,” on PBS. Robert and Lani are members of Affirmation DC, and their son Kerry is a member of Affirmation San Francisco. Those of us at the event on Saturday join with all of Affirmation in saluting the Graves.
Additional Stories Recently posted at www.affirmation.org
Reconciling Two Genuine Loves: A Conversation with Devan Hite
Marching for Equality: A Conversation with Robert Moore
“The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon” to Be Staged in Salt Lake City
New charges made over LDS Church role in Prop 8
Affirmation Leader Featured in ACLU Video
Mormon Legislator Criticized over Talk Radio Comments
Deseret News Editors Demoted Over Gay Stories
SUU Students to Demonstrate during Pres. Monson’s Visit
Mormons Help Spread General Conference Hoax
Mormons in Illinois Asked to Fight against Civil Unions
Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons
P.O. Box 1435
Palm Springs, CA 92263-1435
National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421
To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters
Executive Director: Dave Melson
Senior Assistant Director: Micah Bisson
Assistant Director: George Cole
Associate Director & Affinity Editor: Hugo Salinas www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity
Send Us Your Submission!
AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving
Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY
is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee.
Submissions are welcome and should be limited to 250 words. To contact us, visit www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, national committee or publisher, but rather
the individual writers. The Editor reserves the right to edit any material
deemed offensive, libelous, grammatically incorrect or lengthy.
About AFFINITY
AFFINITY is available both as an email text and as a web-based document.
Although both versions are free of charge, we encourage you to become
a dues-paying member and thus help us advance Affirmation's important
mission.
If you wish to receive a text version of AFFINITY by email, simply send a request to Hugo Salinas by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. If you are a dues-paying member and do not have Internet
access, you may request a printed version that will be sent to you by
mail.
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