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Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons—Serving Gay & Lesbian Mormons and Their Family and Friends Since 1977
Ryan Proctor
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The Affirmation Website in the Age of the Internet
Ryan Proctor, of the Washington DC Chapter, Takes a Close Look at the Affirmation Website
by Ryan Proctor
Remember when Jesus fed the 5,000? Imagine if you were feeding 11,000 each month, the size of at least two stakes of Zion. This is the number of visits that we receive to affirmation.org per month. I wanted to bring you some information on how well our message is getting out. Numbers are boring for the most part but we have found that it gets interesting as we delve more into the statistics. Fifty-eight percent of our visitors are coming from search engines such as Google, Bing and Yahoo using search terms such as "gay", "gay Mormon", "Affirmation" and "lesbian". Twenty-eight percent is from referring sites such as blogs, web pages, Wikipedia, etc. The remaining 14% of traffic is from direct traffic to the website (e.g. bookmarks).
We often think of Affirmation as primarily a United States organization. However, the data shows that it is not. We have had visits from 149 out of a total of 195 countries. Some of these countries are Saudi Arabia, Russia, Ethiopia, India, and Indonesia, as well as most of Europe and Latin America. We are truly a worldwide organization. Though the number of international visits are not as high as those from within the U.S., we know that we are reaching out to people who may not have the support that they need.
Twenty years ago, we would not have thought of how important the internet would become. As we are improving the website over the coming months we take direction from D&C 88:119 which says to “organize yourselves and prepare every needful thing”. We are taking our time and doing this in an organized manner as commanded. The idea is to reach out a hand of fellowship, give hope to the hopeless, give encouragement to those in despair and to let those who need help know that there is a place for them in the world. This is no small feat; it is a labor of loving one another. We invite you to take part as we press forward.
May the Lord bless us in our great endeavor, may he watch over all of us and may he bless us as we strive to “love one another”.
With great love,
Ryan Proctor
IT Director
Affirmation Calendar 2010
February 10 - March 6
“Facing East” to Be Staged in Richmond, VA
February 25
Stuart Matis Vigil in Los Altos
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March 12-14
Executive Committee Meetings in Kansas City
October 8-10
Annual Conference in San Francisco
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Dale Barton |
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STAND UP! in San Francisco
At our conference October 8-10, we will explore ways we can make a difference
by Dale Barton, director for the 2010 conference
The past few weeks have been particularly eventful in the struggle of equality and justice for all. The federal trial to determine if Proposition 8 in California was motivated by prejudice and discrimination against gay people coincided with the release and premier of “8: The Mormon Proposition.” Both events continue to illustrate how crucial it is that we be actively engaged in protecting equality for all.
At the federal trial, compelling arguments were made to show that banning marriage from a minority class of people based on discrimination is completely against the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution which guarantees equal protection and equal rights to ALL citizens of the United States.
By all accounts, “8: The Mormon Proposition” was a wild success that completely sold out every viewing at the Sundance Film Festival. It received excellent media coverage and raised awareness around discrimination and the hurt that LGBT Mormons, in particular, have experienced.
The Washington Post published a few articles on the “8” describing the interest in this important film. As described by Jen Chaney, “‘8’... explores the broader impact of what the filmmakers describe as the church’s historically intolerant attitude toward gays, using tales of suicide attempts by young Mormons struggling with their sexual orientations and men still grappling with memories of the shock treatments they endured in order to ‘cure’ them of their homosexuality.”
According to AP reporter Jennifer Dobner, “The film uses statements of past church leaders and personal accounts of gay Mormons and their families in an attempt to explain what [Reed] Cowan contends is a culture of obedience and an entrenched anti-gay sentiment that permeates Mormonism. Those attitudes, he says, contribute to a myriad of social problems including a suicide and homelessness among young gay Mormons.”
The Salt Lake Tribune described the audience reaction, which was overwhelmingly positive and led to two standing ovations for Cowan: “Some in the audience cried when hearing stories of gay men and lesbians recounting discrimination they have suffered. Others hissed when Utah Eagle Forum President Gayle Ruzicka appeared on-screen, or when State Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, appeared to declare homosexuality ‘the greatest threat to America going down.’”
We will be working with Reed Cowan to try to get a special screening of “8: The Mormon Proposition” at our San Francisco conference.
We have an opportunity to make the world a better place for all those kids who believe there are wrong or less than others. At our conference in San Francisco, October 8-10, we will explore ways we can make a difference, change hearts and minds, and help kids believe they are the exactly the way their Heavenly Parents made them to be – perfect.
Download Poster
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Los Altos Stake Center where Stuart Matis took his life at 1300 Grant Road in Los Altos
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Stuart Matis as a missionary in Italy |
California Vigil to Mark 10 Years since Stuart Matis's Suicide
Affirmation Members Invited to February 25 Event
LOS ALTOS, CA - In the pre-dawn hours of February 25, 2000, gay Mormon Henry Stuart Matis made his way to the LDS Los Altos Stake Center on Grant Road. Stuart had a gun in his hand and a “Do Not Resuscitate” note to pin onto his gray sweatshirt. Police found his body on the steps of the church building at 7:30 a.m. where the sun dawned on a new morning of mourning, first for family and friends and then for a much larger community as Stuart’s story spread in the days before California’s first referendum on banning gay marriage – a ban supported by Stuart's church and funded by many of his fellow Mormons.
Now, 10 years later, Mormons for Marriage and the Foundation for Reconciliation are sponsoring a memorial and vigil for Matis. Other groups participating include Affirmation, a support and advocacy group for current and former members of the LDS Church who are gay or lesbian. “Perhaps my death … might become the catalyst for much good,” Stuart wrote to his family one decade ago. “I’m sure that you will now be strengthened in your resolve to teach the members and the leaders regarding the true nature of homosexuality.”
“Our goal is to remind people that gay Mormons have special challenges and they and their families need special support,” said Laura Compton of Mormons for Marriage. “One more death is one more too many.”
Cheryl Nunn, executive director of the Foundation for Reconciliation, said, “We want to put an end to the darkness and shine a light of peace and hope for the world to see. That’s why our sunrise service is more than just a recognition that Stuart was found at a particular time and place. We are bringing a new dawn with our thoughts and actions.”
Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons stands with Mormons for Marriage and the Foundation for Reconciliation with celebrating Stuart’s life. “It is important to remind people of the potential harm that can be done to individuals by hurtful comments and statements,” said Micah Bisson, Affirmation’s Assistant Executive Director. “We are saddened that, still to this day, so many choose to end their lives; we strive to bring an end to the hateful statements and practices that are the cause of this tragic waste of life. We urge everyone who can to lend their support and attend this memorial service to honor Stuart’s life.” Affirmation’s online memorial (www.affirmation.org/suicides) lists more than two dozen men and women with LDS ties who have also taken their own lives.
Lisa Fahey of Mormons for Marriage, said, “We hope in remembering Stuart we attempt to heal the wounds of our LGBT brothers and sisters; to inspire all of us to reach out with hope, forgiveness, love and compassion; and to make the world a better place for not only the marginalized among us, but everyone, everywhere.”
Schedule
Memorial Ceremony – Feb. 25, 2010, 6:30 a.m. Cuesta Park, Mountain View (615 Cuesta Drive), meeting near the parking lot at the corner of Grant and Cuesta. Join us for a candlelight ceremony of prayer, song and inspirational thoughts before we walk to the church building.
Walk to the Building – Around 6:50 a.m. we’ll leave the park and head South along Grant Road to the LDS church at 1300 Grant Road, Los Altos. The walk is about 3/4 of a mile. Flowers, candles, pictures, stories, poems, etc. are welcome to be added to a memorial in front of the church building. Signs with messages of hope, love, and support are also welcome. After an inspirational benediction, individuals will have time to linger or leave the memorial at their leisure.
Vigil – Will continue throughout the day until about 8:30 p.m.
Carol Lynn Pearson |
Carol Lynn Pearson Launches “Proposition Healing”
LGBT People and Mormons Encouraged to Share Meals, Stories
Mormon author Carol Lynn Pearson has launched a new website, PropositionHealing.com, to help build understanding between the gay and the Mormon communities. Based on the idea that “breaking bread together brings good harvest,” the website encourages gay people and Mormons to have dinner together, share personal stories and feelings, and increase in understanding and appreciation for each other.
“If you are gay—reach out to that Mormon person at work or in your neighborhood,” Pearson writes. “If you are Mormon—speak to that gay person that you sort of know at the office or that is a friend of your friend or perhaps is your cousin. Create an invitation of your own, using anything useful on this site or whatever comes to your own mind and heart.”
Pearson says the idea is the product of her own experience of having supper with a small group of Mormons and gays in March, 2009. “Since then other small groups have come together for a similar experience. I think it’s an idea whose time has surely come.”
“We began to open up and share our heartfelt beliefs,” wrote one of the people who attended the original group. “We listened to one another. I gained so much more insight into the lives and feelings of my gay friends. I hope that someday many more people can find the peace and love that we experienced that night.”
Joanna Brooks |
“Religion Dispatches” Describes Mormon Involvement in Prop 8
LDS Church Sought to Create “Plausible Deniability”
The close relationship between the Mormon Church and the Yes on 8 campaign was recently revisited in the trial challenging the legality of California’s Proposition 8 and is the focus of a Religion Dispatches article by Mormon author Joanna Brooks.
“On Wednesday, January 20, in a federal courthouse in San Francisco, plaintiffs in the Perry vs. Schwarzenegger trial introduced two documents (over strenuous objections from the defense) indicating close but cautious coordination between the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the Yes on 8 campaign.”
According to plaintiffs’ witness Gary Segura, the documents indicate that the Mormon Church intended to create “plausible deniability or respectable distance between the church organization per se and the actual campaign.”
Brooks writes that Mormons raised between 50% and 75% of the Yes on 8 funds, and provided as much as 80-90% of the volunteer labor for the campaign, though they were coached to avoid disclosing their ties to the LDS Church while canvassing.
“When we went to our training meetings, they said, don’t bring up the fact that you’re Mormon,” recalls Laura Compton, of Mormons for Marriage. “Don’t wear white shirts and ties; don’t look like missionaries. When you go out [canvassing], bring a non-member friend. When you’re calling people, don’t say I’m a Mormon.”
Brooks also describes the role of the document “Six Consequences if Prop 8 Fails,” which was emailed massively among Mormons and utilized as part of the campaign. “The document alleged that the legalization of same-sex marriage would eventuate in the teaching of same-sex marriage in public schools and the elimination of religious freedoms,” writes Brooks. “Mormon legal scholar Morris Thurston described this as ‘untrue’ and ‘misleading’ and urged the LDS Church to discontinue its further dissemination.”
Posted on January 31, Brooks’s piece is the most read article on the Religion Dispatches website and has generated nearly 100 comments.
Seven of the nine Affirmation leaders who attended the Creating Change conference in Dallas. From left to right, George Cole, Fred Bowers, Mary England, Micah Bisson, AleX Dean, Robert Moore, and David Melson. |
Nine Affirmation Leaders Attend “Creating Change” Conference
“Transformational Experience” for Affirmation Attendees
Seven of the nine Affirmation leaders who attended the Creating Change conference in Dallas. From left to right, George Cole, Fred Bowers, Mary England, Micah Bisson, AleX Dean, Robert Moore, and David Melson.
Nine Affirmation leaders spent five days at the 22nd annual Creating Change Conference in Dallas, Texas. They joined over 2,000 leaders from every major LGBT-interest group in the country, in intensive training sessions, business and program analysis, and sharing of ideas and best practices.
“Creating Change is often called a ‘transformational experience,’ and I believe that it was, for each of the nine Affirmation attendees and for Affirmation as an organization,” says Affirmation’s Executive Director David Melson. “Training sessions, caucuses, and meetings took in everything from cultural issues to diversity to strategic analysis, to fiscal issues to staffing and development.”
Produced by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Creating Change is the nation’s pre-eminent political, leadership and skills-building conference for the LGBT social justice movement. For more information, visit their blog at http://creatingchange2010.wordpress.com.
Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons
P.O. Box 1435
Palm Springs, CA 92263-1435
National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421
To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters
Executive Director: Dave Melson
Senior Assistant Director: George Cole
Assistant Director: Micah Bisson
Associate Director & Affinity Editor: Hugo Salinas www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity
Send Us Your Submission!
AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving
Gay and Lesbian Mormons, their families and friends since 1977. AFFINITY
is the official publication of the Affirmation National Executive Committee.
Submissions are welcome and should be limited to 250 words. To contact us, visit www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, national committee or publisher, but rather
the individual writers. The Editor reserves the right to edit any material
deemed offensive, libelous, grammatically incorrect or lengthy.
About AFFINITY
AFFINITY is available both as an email text and as a web-based document.
Although both versions are free of charge, we encourage you to become
a dues-paying member and thus help us advance Affirmation's important
mission.
If you wish to receive a text version of AFFINITY by email, simply send a request to Hugo Salinas by visiting www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity. If you are a dues-paying member and do not have Internet
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