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Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons—Serving Gay & Lesbian Mormons and Their Family and Friends Since 1977
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Inside This Issue |  |
Dale Barton |
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San Francisco Conference to Focus on Solutions, Action
Saturday Program to Include Innovative Format
by Dale Barton, director for the 2010 conference
We are excited to announce that our Saturday program at the Affirmation Conference will be a change from our traditional speaker format. Based on the theme of STAND UP! we will be organizing into different action groups tasked with spending the day Saturday working on solutions to particular issues. Some of the first action groups include the following:
Suicide Prevention: This Action Group will be focused on understanding more about the issue of suicide, particularly among LGBT youth, and working on prevention. We will be joined by the Trevor Project and other organizations currently working on suicide prevention to complete a project that will start having an impact NOW! For example, a project may include mailing an information package to all LDS bishops on how to counsel gay kids in their congregations.
Reducing Homelessness: A large percentage of the young people on the streets are LGBT. Too many families are rejecting their children and forcing them out of the home, either directly or indirectly, because they are gay. This action group will focus on helping kids with no place to go and reducing the number of kids who believe living on the streets is their only option. An example of a project for this group may include putting together care packages for helping them survive on the streets.
Political Activism: As everyone is aware, the lack of marriage equality is just one major issue affecting LGBT Americans. Following what happened with Proposition 8 in California, and what has happened in Maine, and around the country, it is essential that we play a part in the fight for equality. In addition to marriage equality, we need to be involved in issues such as the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and the repealing of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. We will have experts from Courage Campaign, Equality California, and others to work with those who select this action group on projects to help promote LGBT equality and repeal Prop 8.
Building Bridges: One of the greatest factors in people changing their hearts and their minds on LGBT equality issues is simply getting to know us. If our LDS families, relatives, friends and coworkers heard our stories, it would be much more difficult to discriminate against someone they know. Those involved in the this action group will join with representatives from Mormons4Marriage, Reconciliation, Family Fellowship, and other organizations to coordinate strategies and complete a project in building those bridges of understanding within both the Mormon and the greater community.
We are excited for an opportunity to do more than hear about some of the biggest issues facing our community and our young people. This is our chance to take our ideas and efforts to complete something that makes a difference in the world. If you have interest or experience in any of these particular areas, or if you know someone working with these issues, we want to invite you all to be involved in the conference. If you want to contribute your ideas, now is the time to do it. Please contact me so we can bring more people together who want to make a difference.
In the meantime, start now to consider the areas that interest you most and where you would like to be involved on Saturday.
I look forward to seeing you at the San Francisco Market Street Westin Hotel on October 8-10, 2010 for the Affirmation Conference, STAND UP!
Affirmation Calendar 2010
March 12-14
Executive Committee Meetings in Kansas City
June
Pride celebrations held across the world
June 8
Anniversary of the revelation that lifted the ban on African-Americans males holding the priesthood (1978)
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June 11
Anniversary. Affirmation was organized on this day in Salt Lake City (1977).
July 24
Pioneer Day
October 8-10
Annual Conference in San Francisco
October 11
National Coming Out Day
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James Morris |
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STAND UP!
by James Morris
This is the first in a series of articles featuring stories of people who decided to STAND UP rather than being indifferent in the face of opposition. If you have an idea for a STAND UP article, please send me an email at www.affirmation.org/contact/hugo.
STAND UP! This is the theme of the Affirmation 2010 Conference. Sometimes to stand up is to participate in a large and loud public rally. Sometimes it is to draft and send a persuasive letter to the editor of a local paper. Or sometimes it takes form in the quiet resolve within one's heart to live a different way.
I remember when I was first trying to come to terms with my sexual orientation. I was back from my mission and living with my parents while resuming my college studies at Berkeley. My life was pretty much just centered around my education and my participation in the local Ward (I was a Sunday School teacher) and the local stake (where I was very involved in the Young Adult Program). I did very little dating, and if the subject of homosexuality came up I tried to be invisible or switch to another topic. The last thing I wanted was to expose my own inner conflict, or to be in the awkward position of defending a segment of society that my church had so publicly condemned.
At the time, my youngest brother was also living at home. One night at the dinner table, he launched into what had come up in his seminary class that morning. Of all things it was about a married man who had announced to his wife of many years that he was gay and that they needed to dissolve their marriage so he could move on with his life. This was somehow connected with the lesson topic of the last days, signs of the times, and the greater iniquities that were upon us in the latter days.
I continued to quietly eat my dinner, but the topic persisted. And now my parents and brother were talking about homosexuals who had committed suicide. Now I was very uncomfortable. My brother concluded, and my mother agreed, that the suicide victims were better off being dead than living a life as depraved homosexuals. Was this how they really felt? Did they know what they were saying? Would they really rather see me dead? These and other troubling thoughts boiled within until I could no longer keep silent. With all the calmness and clarity I could muster, I said I thought it was tragic that anyone should be so despondent as to take one's own life and how terrible it was for anyone to feel they had no one to turn to. No one should see suicide as the only out.
My brother and mother were quiet, as my father agreed with me. I was so very thankful to hear his words of support. Though I was years away from coming out as a gay man, I vowed to myself at that time to never remain silent when these issues surfaced again.
For our 2010 conference, we want to encourage group involvement and participation as we explore the many ways of standing up for what we believe in. I invite all Affinity readers to share with each other some of their personal moments of standing up.
Dave Melson
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Affirmation Executive Committee to Meet
March 12, 13, and 14, in Kansas City and Independence
by David Melson
Affirmation’s Executive Committee will be meeting March 12, 13, and 14, in Kansas City and Independence, Missouri. The Executive Committee will be honoring Affirmation’s newest chapter, journeying back to one of the great historic sites from Mormon scripture, and meeting with LGBT-friendly leaders in The Community of Christ.
Items planned for the business agenda include discussion of the 2010, 2011, and 2012 conferences, the 2010 initiatives for women’s, young adults’, and transgender programs, homelessness and suicide outreach programs, possible by-laws changes to bring some of our nomenclature and structure into line with our sister organizations, and changes to funding allocations and budgets.
All Affirmation members are invited and encouraged to attend any meeting of the Executive Committee, and particularly anyone who would like to become more involved in the international organization or who might want to consider running for office. If you are interested in attending, please contact me.
Mormons Hold Vigil to Remember Stuart Matis
He committed suicide at the Los Altos stake center ten years ago
Early Thursday morning a group of Mormons held a memorial vigil for Stuart Matis. Stuart was a gay Mormon man who committed suicide at a stake center in Los Altos in the midst of a campaign by the LDS Church against marriage equality.
“As it turns out, God never intended for me to be straight,” Stuart had written in his suicide note. “Perhaps my death might become the catalyst for some good.”
Starting at Cuesta Park with songs and brief speeches, about 20 people then walked up Grant Road, carrying roses and candles. They ended up on the sidewalk in front of the LDS stake center on Grant Road in Los Altos, where they set up a small memorial display with an image of Stuart's tombstone and stories about him and other gay Mormons who have committed suicide.
Bishop Robert Rees, of the Santa Cruz stake, said the event was meant “to honor a good man who left life much earlier than he should have, whose passing was tragic but whose message was one of hope to other people.”
George Cole, who serves on Affirmation’s executive committee, said he didn't know Matis personally but has lost too many very good friends to suicide. “I know what it is like to seriously consider taking your life,” he said. “I chose happiness and fulfillment at the cost of not having the church in my own life.”
“We’re here because it's a horrible thing that someone's life was lost,” said Laura Compton, from Mormons for Marriage. “Let's come together and share our stories with ourselves and let other people know that they're not alone.”
Two of those who attended the vigil wrote their impressions on their blogs. Rob wrote that church leaders ordered entrances to the stake center’s parking lot coned off. A friend acting as security said they had been told “to keep an eye on the Lord's property just in case things get out of hand.”
“How do you get inside and defuse the bigotry of someone so apparently well-intentioned and kindly, when they obviously don't even recognize it in themselves?” Rob reflected in his blog entry.
Molly, another blogger, wrote that the service was “all too representative of how the church treats gays and lesbians.”
“A massive, heavy building on a grassy rise, with enormous, grave doors that are locked to those sitting on a strip of dirt by the wayside,” she wrote. “The cops weren’t there run them off, but they certainly didn’t look very welcome. Despite this, there was sunshine and a nice breeze, and pink roses, photos, and memories faced out to the world for passers-by to see.”
Brus Leguás Contreras
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Chile’s Earthquake: A Report
What follows is a summary of a report that Brus Leguás Contreras, president of Afirmación Chile, sent me by email. With electric power down, he wrote it on his battery-operated laptop. I told Brus that our thoughts and prayers are with our sisters and brothers in Chile. –Hugo Salinas
Chile is an earthquake-prone country. At 3:34 am on February 27, we felt a loud noise caused by a violent quake. I woke up my partner Daniel, we jumped out of bed and stood under two doorways. Electric power began to fail; sparks began to fly out from the neighborhood transformers. Our home began to shake violently, and we could hear the windows rock and objects falling from the second floor. It was hard to keep our balance. People were screaming in the neighborhood. This lasted for over 3 terrifying minutes. I thought the second floor was collapsing.
The power went off, and the only light was the full moon. We grabbed flashlights and checked out the second floor. Books had flown off the shelves, but the house had withstood the quake. The faucets were still working, so we began to store water. We went outside and checked on some of our neighbors. When we returned we realized we had lost the phone—both phone lines and cell towers had collapsed.
I used my cell phone radio to tune in to some news. Little by little we began to grasp the scope of the quake, which had affected not just Valparaíso and Santiago, as we first thought, but also the south of the country—especially the Concepción/Talcahuano area. To make things worse, a tsunami (which the government claimed would not occur) caused death and destruction along the Chilean coast. This weekend was, in Chile, the last weekend of summer, and beach towns were crowded--which made the tsunami particularly destructive.
We have been without power and water for two days. In my town of Quilpué, in some houses the damage is visible from outside; but many more houses have damage inside, with fallen walls and destroyed furniture. Many are now living on the streets or in parks, in tents, or in improvised shelters. In some parts of the country there has been looting.
While my cell phone worked, I was able to contact Leandro, Cristian, and Mauricio. Leandro’s home was damaged by some falling bricks. Cristian, Mauricio, Marco Antonio, Alejandro, María Teresa, and Cecilia, all from Afirmación Gran Valparaíso, are OK. We haven’t yet heard from some 30 other gay Mormons in our region, nor have we yet been able to contact the Santiago group, but I’m confident they will be fine. We have heard from Raúl and Julio, who live in Rancagua, closer to the epicenter, but since all phone lines south of Rancagua are down, we have not yet heard from those living in Concepción, and we are worried about them. When the power returns, I hope I will be able to contact them.
Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons
P.O. Box 1435
Palm Springs, CA 92263-1435
National Phone Line: (661) 367-2421
To see a directory of current Affirmation chapters, visit www.affirmation.org/chapters
Executive Director: Dave Melson
Senior Assistant Director: George Cole
Assistant Director: Micah Bisson
Associate Director & Affinity Editor: Hugo Salinas www.affirmation.org/contact/affinity
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AFFIRMATION GAY & LESBIAN MORMONS is a non-profit support group serving
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