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Samuel Ulrich Tacuban
(June 5, 1965 - April 15, 1994)

by James Kent

I remember seeing Samuel Tacuban's Affirmation AIDS Memorial Quilt at the Palm Springs Affirmation Conference in 1996. Since there are Tacubans in my family tree, I wondered if he was related to me.

I found out through my mother in 1998, that Samuel Tacuban was a son of one of my first cousins.

When I moved to Honolulu in 1999, I found out that Jim Cartwright had become a close friend to Sammy since they were in the same LDS ward. By that time, Sammy was very sick and Jim would visit him at a hospice called Gregory House to give him the sacrament.

Jim told me that Sammy used to dress up in his earlier days. His drag name was Bambi.

It was a serendipitous accident that I met Sammy's hanai [adoptive] father, Dwight Ovitt. When Sammy came out to his Mormon father, about age 16, he was kicked out of the house and disowned. When Dwight met him, Sammy was homeless. Sammy lived with Dwight and Dwight's daughter, Hoku, for a little while, until Sammy found a place to stay.

I would like to quote from the Journal of Jim Cartwright, April 29, 1994:

Last Monday night was Sam's farewell service at Gregory House. They had a large floral arrangement in the mauka [facing mountain] & ewa [facing East] corner, primarily of pink ginger. Then they had lots of plumeria on palm frond spikes stuck in half cylinders and these were placed all around the room. The trio of Hawaiian musicians stood near the pink ginger. Everyone received a lei and a card with "Samuel Tacuban" on the outside and on the inside:

15 April 1994

'I have been happy every
hour of the day, my life has
been full, for I know I have
been loved.'

They had a catered meal with almost everything: Chicken long rice, teriyaki beef, rice, noodles and vegetables, sweet potato, shrimp, squid luau, pineapple, lomi salmon, another fish I cannot remember the name of, green salad, and cake.

After the administrator of Gregory House opened with a prayer and grace on the food, we ate, talked, listened to the music.

...Dwight (Sam's hanai daddy) and Hoku came of course and numerous friends I had not met before. Sam's mother [Rosemary], grandmother [Annie] and one aunt came--apparently against the father's wishes.

It still hurts me that I never knew Sammy when he was alive. We could have been a great support to each other.

James Kent
January 20, 2004

Tribute by John Gilliam

16 May 2010

I dated Sam for a short while back in 1987. Before the advent of the Internet, I couldn't have fathomed ever finding him again, but now I have.

I'm not sure why contemplating the passing of a person I knew only a short time so long ago would drag me so low, but I guess some people you have known are simply just worthy of a shed tear. I hope to see Sam again one day.

I thought of Sam as someone whom one would instinctively feel inclined to protect. It must have been such an honor for Jim Cartwright to have spent so much time with Sam, even under the circumstances of Sam being sick. It's good to know that Sam was so loved by someone. Was Sam an angel of sorts? I don't know about things like that, but if anyone on God's good earth ever deserved to be intensely loved, it would have to be Sam Tacuban, the sweetest of them all.

Sam's life story is an admonition, a reminder to us all, about choosing kindness over all other human concerns as one's inspiration and core value.

Please add your own tribute by sending an email to James Kent.