Seattle Gamofite Retreat a Success
By Robert J. Christensen
September, 2000
FRIDAY
Gamofite retreats in the Northwest have tended to be in scenic locations: an island in the middle of the Puget Sound, the army fort made famous in An Officer and a Gentleman, or the foothills of Mount Rainier. But for the summer of 2000 (August 25-27, 2000) we turned to private apartments in the center of Seattle.
This gave the sessions an atmosphere of close familiarity. Fourteen attended, though Bob Olsen was drawn back early to Portland for the birth of a grandson. The resulting intimacy gave discussions a fresh openness and intensity. Friday evening we gathered at the apartment of Jim Butler and his partner Ivan. The glittering night lights of the Space Needle, Lake Union and the Queen Anne district provided a stunning backdrop. Jim called us to order, outlined the planned events, introduced the weekend's theme -- drawn from Ric Isensee's Reclaiming Your Life: The Gay Man's Guide to Love, Self-Acceptance, and Trust -- and then turned us lose on a delicious buffet and friendly chit-chat.
SATURDAY
We re-gathered early Saturday at David Johnson and Randy Hillam's apartment. Randy lead the discussion which focused on the problems of growing up in a homophobic and abusive culture. We came to realize how that culture had not only increased the pains and complicated the process of growing up healthy, but had also infected our own thinking. In many ways, we were unconsciously as homophobic and abusive as those we resented.
We then climbed up to Volunteer Park, beautifully sited on the hill behind David and Randy's apartment. Simple but delicious and amble box lunches had been prepared for us by one of the Seattle's smaller, choicest delicatessens.
Del Thornton then peppered Jim Butler with a thousand questions to create a genotype for Jim. A genotype creates a genealogy chart which traces not just blood but emotion lines in which the problems and personalities of the ancestors reemerge in the lives of the descendants. In the discussion that followed, Frank Boychuck added a few "secrets" of his own to those of Jim. Then came a game of croquet; the cracking of the croquet balls against one another punctuated the speeches of a nearby amateur production of Shakespeare. We started reluctantly, most of us wishing we were dead - or maybe somewhere else doing anything else. But we were quickly caught up in the fervor of friendly rivalry, and the athletically gifted duo of Scott McKay and Alan Blodgett emerged victoriously as they methodically eliminated the other teams from the competition. A "make-your-own-fajita" dinner consumed in Scott and Michael Lambert's petite side yard adorned by flowers - lit by half a dozen tiki torches - gave everyone energy to continue the conversation, as we journeyed down to the waterside Gas Works Park for an outdoors sing-along showing of The Sound of Music."
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Several finely attired "sisters," their severe habits lightened with lacy, white collars, passed through the crowd to encourage people to sing along. Had Scott been in his habit, our resident extrovert would have been their abbess.
That night some of us quickly collapsed into bed while others - Alan, Ken and Randy - took themselves off to the dance floors of Seattle.
SUNDAY
Sunday morning came early as everyone reassembled at Jim's. Kerry Walsh lead a lively discussion about healing and moving beyond Saturday's addictions and abuses. Others commented on our own powers to deal with problems, and to be more loving and adequate fathers. Several friends then joined us for a concluding brunch at Cuffs, where the dark and bearish dιcor did not hinder in the slightest the renewed bonds of enduring friendships.
A closing personal observation: good talk and a flood of useful insights are always free for the taking at a Gamofite Retreat. But the real magic comes in the friendships renewed and the strengths shared. The synergies created and then shared by a good of good men always leave me feeling that the weekend's time could not have been better spent.
Those who attended were Jim Butler, Ivan Bullard, Scott MacKay, Michael Lambert, Kerry Walsh, Del Thornon, David Johnson, Alan Blodgett, Ken Taylor, Bob Olsen, Robert J. Christensen, Kyle Harris, Frank Boychuck
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