Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

Ben Jarvis

Ben Jarvis, Affirmation Featured on National Public Radio

July 2007

On June 26, Affirmation member Ben Jarvis was featured on National Public Radio’s Day to Day, in a segment about gay Mormons. Ben told NPR’s Alex Cohen that he has known he was gay since seventh grade when his teacher, in a sex ed class, mentioned homosexuality and put a name to what he was feeling. But Ben then read The Miracle of Forgiveness, in which Spencer W. Kimball calls homosexuality a perversion.

“The book taught me to be afraid of my feelings,” Ben told NPR. “It taught me to be afraid of my body; it was a very confusing time.”

A seventh-generation Mormon, Ben served an LDS mission, attended Brigham Young University, and was even briefly engaged to a girl. But when he decided to come out, a stake leader gave him a choice: Pretend to be straight, or leave the Church. Ben eventually left the Church.

“You are not just walking away from a church, and you’re not just questioning a church,” Ben said in the interview. “You’re questioning the origin of the universe. You’re questioning reality. You’re questioning everything you thought was unquestionable.”

Also interviewed by NPR, Affirmation’s executive director Olin Thomas talked about the role of Affirmation in providing a space for GLBT Latter-day Saints to reconnect with the cultural side of Mormonism. “When people in Affirmation get together, people want to sing the songs that they sang I Primary,” said Olin. “They want to talk about the filmstrips that were shown in their wards; and people make jokes about green jell-o!”

Even though Ben is no longer an official member of the Church, he says he will always be a Mormon: “Here I am today probably more Mormon and certainly a better Mormon, as an atheist vegetarian, than I ever was when I was an active Latter-day Saint! And though it may sound strange, to me it makes perfect sense.”

“I know who I am today,” Ben concluded, “I am not hiding who I am from my fellow humans. I know who I am, and I like that person.”

The LDS Church would not agree to grant NPR an interview for this story, despite repeated requests by NPR producers. To listen to the segment, click on the Listen icon on the Day to Day archives.