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Former Married Couple Calls on LDS Church, Evergreen to Change Ways “They have to already be aware that their program has a huge failure rate”
July 2007 Posted with the author's permission. SALT LAKE CITY — A formerly-married couple has called upon Evergreen International and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to change how they treat gay and lesbian people who come to them for help in their struggle with their sexuality. Lester and Barbara Leavitt spoke to the media in front of the Crane Building, where LDS Church-sponsored Evergreen has an office. Evergreen’s purpose is to help “people who want to diminish same-sex attractions and overcome homosexual behavior.” Run by David Pruden, who will also act as executive director of the National Association of Research & Therapy of Homosexuality, the group is used by the LDS Church to handle gay and lesbian members seeking counseling. The Leavitts were married in 1981 in an LDS temple, though Lester was struggling with his sexuality. “Advice from leaders of the Mormon Church was that, if you would just marry a woman, the natural love would blossom and you would experience all the joys of marriage,” Lester said. “The message that I trusted was incorrect.” Finally, in October 2004, Lester told his wife he is gay. The two tried to continue their marriage, with Lester promising to uphold his vows, but after falling in love with one of his best friends, the couple realized that was unlikely. “When Lester came out as gay two and a half years ago, I became aware of the need for me to become self-sufficient, self reliant, and to accept that I alone am responsible for my own destiny,” Barbara told the crowd. “I was told to divorce him and to keep the children away from him. I was told to pray and read the scriptures to find the truth.” Barbara did read the scriptures and pray, and only became confused. “The members of the church were telling me to break up my family unit and to stop loving my husband,” she said. “That he was evil and of the devil because he is gay.” “I could not do it,” she continued. “I will not stop loving Lester. Love does not judge ... it just is.” The couple knows that their story is not unusual. “We are now at a critical mass when hundreds of these men and women from the 70s and 80s have been married for 20, 25, 30 and 35 years,” said Lester. “Most are lonely and miserable in their marriages, and their wives and husbands are trying to figure out what they did wrong.” “Some of these closeted men and women have affairs on the side, endangering the lives of their unsuspecting spouses,” he explained. The couple called upon Evergreen and other “ex-gay” ministries to admit their failures and change their focus. “We have already seen more than 30 of our gay peers commit suicide,” Lester said, “because the culture within the Mormon Church has made it impossible for families to reconcile their religion with the fact that they have had a gay son or a gay brother or who, like my kids, have a gay father.” “Without changing its current mission statement, Evergreen cannot remain blameless,” he continued. “They have to already be aware that their program has a huge failure rate.” “The silence of good people is worse than the actions of bad people,” Barbara quoted from Zoya, an Afghan woman. “I feel that the time has come for all people to stop being silent. We need the strength to speak out and voice an opinion that must be voiced. Only this way can good come in this world.” “By showing love, tolerance and acceptance we can bridge the gap between gay and straight and be role models for our children and others.” |
www.affirmation.org