Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

Matthew Lawrence

Son of “Yes on 8” Leader Quits Mormon Church Over Proposition 8
“We can all agree to disagree, but don't put me and Satan in the same sentence please”

by Andrew Callahan
14 November 2008
Posted with the author's permission

Matthew Lawrence, 28, of Santa Ana, California is just one of approximately 500 people who have contacted Signing for Something (www.signingforsomething.org) in the last few days to announce his resignation from the Mormon Church because of the church’s oppositon to marriage equality. Matthew is gay and is the son of Gary Lawrence, 67, who is the State LDS Grassroots Director for the state of California.

Matthew says that although he is extremely upset and frustrated with his family and that he has cut off communication with them. Yet “at the end of the day, I do love them,” says Matthew. The elder Lawrence was also the Mormon Church’s point man for the Prop 22 campaign in 2000. Matt says, “I love my family so much, but it's hard to not take this personally. We had a brief falling-out over Proposition 22, but that got mended. But [with] two anti-gay initiatives in eight years, it’s impossible not to feel attacked.”

Matthew says he was particularly hurt when “my father said that opponents of Prop. 8 are akin to Lucifer's followers in the pre-existence.” Matthew's plea to his father and others is, “We can all agree to disagree and respect each other's informed opinions and decisions, but don't put me and Satan in the same sentence please.”

“This issue isn't about gay marriage,” says Matthew. “This is about certain religious factions that believe homosexuality is disgusting, immoral and wrong and needs to be stamped out... It's a problem to be ‘fixed.’”

Matthew says that his family sent him to multiple counselors during his youth, and even sent him to live with relatives in Utah which he writes was an attempt to “straighten me out” by living with what he describes as “homophobic cousins.” He said while in Utah it wasn't unusual for his cousin to call him a “faggot” at school and that his “aunt and uncle did nothing to discourage his behavior.”

A fourth generation Mormon, Matthew says that even after he stopped attending church (about the time of his return from exile to Utah) that “I even found myself defending the church for years and trying to dispel the notions that polygamy was still practiced or any of the other misconceptions. And deep inside, I still believe certain truisms that can be found in nearly any religion, such as treating our earthly brothers and sisters with love and respect.”

Gary Lawrence served as a Mormon bishop while Matthew was a child. Matthew said that from his father he learned “the value of hard work and not making excuses.” “My father has worked hard his entire life and has done whatever it takes to provide for his family,” Matthew adds. “He truly was a loving husband to my mother, which is why it saddens me he would work to deny others the same happiness that his family provided for him.”

Matthew says that about 95 percent of his family supported Proposition 8, but that “a few cousins that are strongly opposed to this Proposition and have let me know that they support and love me” and have insisted “that they get a wedding invitation if I ever marry in the future.” As for his father, Matthew says, “My dad keeps telling me it's not too late to ‘change.’”