Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

David Melson

On June 7, Let's Come Out to Our Wards
Since 2002, gay and lesbian Mormons have used June's Fast & Testimony Meeting to come out to their wards

by Affirmation's Executive Director Dave Melson
May 2009

In a tradition that began in 2002, Affirmation members are once again being encouraged to consider coming out to the members of their ward in Fast & Testimony Meeting this June, at the start of Pride month. Here’s how an Affirmation member from Seattle recounted the experience he had in his ward:

"My name is Eduk. The last time I stood up to bear my testimony was over 9 years ago. A few days after that, I came out of the closet. Many things were taken away from me—the right to go to the temple, the right to partake of the sacrament—and many people turned their backs on me. Many obstacles came to my path, but no one was able to take away my ability to pray. The power of prayer guided me to overcome my fears. My testimony, spirit, dignity, and pride went through fire, and now they are stronger than ever… I stand today and I can say as a gay man that the Holy Ghost is still with me. I know that God loves me for who I am. Because of all the obstacles I have had to overcome, I'm more humane and understanding of others. The Holy Ghost did not go away. It is with me more than ever. Amen.

“When I finished my testimony, the entire room was looking at me. "Did he just say he is gay?" After the meeting was over, I was approached by many people. The stake president thanked me for my testimony. Men and women came to me, hugged me, and thanked me for my testimony and encouragement. A few members came out after my testimony, and others were more accepting.

“I know with my heart that if some of us take the risk of sharing our coming out stories with the church, this will inspire others, as long as we do it with dignity and pride. Don't be afraid--no one is going to hurt you.”

Two of us took Eduk’s challenge and bore our testimony to our wards in Washington on June 4, 2006, to packed congregations. Several members of the AffirmationDC chapter were on hand to lend their support. We each spoke of our faith in the Savior and of our love of the church, but also of our concern that we did not always feel welcome in the church that had taught us to love all of God’s children. We spoke as holders of the Priesthood and as gay men. In each ward, we received outpourings of love from ward members, a few of whom came out to us. For each of us, it was by far one of the most spiritual experiences of our lives.

Any time you come out of the closet to someone, especially someone you love, there is always a risk, a chance their heart and mind may not be ready for what you have to say, that the love you share may not be strong enough. A member of my Stake Presidency spoke of my service, my courage, and my love. Sam’s Stake President excommunicated him a few days later.

Eduk gave two suggestions for Affirmation members who come out to their wards in testimony meeting. “First, be sincere, speak from your heart. Don't be preachy or bash the Church. Second, emphasize the positive things that you learned from the gospel. Tell the members how the Church's teachings helped you cope with your life’s challenges.”

In 2009, we face a growing number of misconceptions being spread about gay people from a few extreme members of the LDS Church leadership and their allies. Millions of dollars are being spent this year by the Church to tell the world are gay people will destroy their marriages, their businesses, their schools, and their churches. We are being painted as “the gathering storm” that will cause the end of all that is good in the world. But by coming out to your ward, you allow yourself to be seen as someone who is both true to the truths that we were taught in the Gospel, but also someone who is proud to be a gay son or daughter of God, and that your faith is sufficient to rise above those mortals who, even in positions of earthly authority, have forgotten the first and greatest commandment, to love God and to love one another. If you change one heart, open one mind, your blessings will be huge. “Declare the things which ye know to be true” (D&C 80:4).