Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons

Mormons Hold Vigil to Remember Stuart Matis
He committed suicide at the Los Altos stake center ten years ago

March 2010

Early Thursday morning a group of Mormons held a memorial vigil for Stuart Matis. Stuart was a gay Mormon man who committed suicide at a stake center in Los Altos in the midst of a campaign by the LDS Church against marriage equality.

“As it turns out, God never intended for me to be straight,” Stuart had written in his suicide note. “Perhaps my death might become the catalyst for some good.”

Starting at Cuesta Park with songs and brief speeches, about 20 people then walked up Grant Road, carrying roses and candles. They ended up on the sidewalk in front of the LDS stake center on Grant Road in Los Altos, where they set up a small memorial display with an image of Stuart's tombstone and stories about him and other gay Mormons who have committed suicide.

Bishop Robert Rees, of the Santa Cruz stake, said the event was meant “to honor a good man who left life much earlier than he should have, whose passing was tragic but whose message was one of hope to other people.”

George Cole, who serves on Affirmation’s executive committee, said he didn't know Matis personally but has lost too many very good friends to suicide. “I know what it is like to seriously consider taking your life,” he said. “I chose happiness and fulfillment at the cost of not having the church in my own life.”

“We’re here because it's a horrible thing that someone's life was lost,” said Laura Compton, from Mormons for Marriage. “Let's come together and share our stories with ourselves and let other people know that they're not alone.”

Two of those who attended the vigil wrote their impressions on their blogs. Rob wrote that church leaders ordered entrances to the stake center’s parking lot coned off. A friend acting as security said they had been told “to keep an eye on the Lord's property just in case things get out of hand.”

“How do you get inside and defuse the bigotry of someone so apparently well-intentioned and kindly, when they obviously don't even recognize it in themselves?” Rob reflected in his blog entry.

Molly, another blogger, wrote that the service was “all too representative of how the church treats gays and lesbians.”

“A massive, heavy building on a grassy rise, with enormous, grave doors that are locked to those sitting on a strip of dirt by the wayside,” she wrote. “The cops weren’t there run them off, but they certainly didn’t look very welcome. Despite this, there was sunshine and a nice breeze, and pink roses, photos, and memories faced out to the world for passers-by to see.”