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Rick Fernández and Henry Miller

Rick & Henry: Chronicle of a Long-Awaited Wedding
They Have Been Waiting 18 Years

By Henry Miller
May 2004

Shortly after Multnomah County in Oregon began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples, Affirmation members Rick Fernández and Henry Miller were married in a small ceremony in their home in Portland. Rick is a former Affirmation executive director and Henry was for many years the Affirmation webmaster. The following chronicle was prepared by Henry:

We were couple number 68 in a line that circled the block on that first morning outside the Multnomah County Building. The crowd was understandably jubilant, and chatted and sang songs in sharp contrast to the four "religious" protesters who screamed obscenities at us from a small roped-off area in the street. Media from everywhere was present--they even had to close down a street just to park all the television live-transmission vehicles.

You couldn't help but appear multiple times on CNN and local and national television and radio programs. (I almost accidentally knocked down a cameraman who was on the air live as I jostled my way through the crowd. I was smashed between him and a wall and the wall didn't give!) People driving by were honking, smiling and waving their hands to say "congratulations." The crowd would cheer and wave back. Individuals and community representatives were walking the lines smiling, and giving their well-wishes. I was especially impressed by an old woman who had trouble walking but came just so she could congratulate each couple personally (I'm sure there's a fascinating story there). Some even brought armfuls of flowers to pass out, while others brought coffee, donuts, and umbrellas (it was drizzling and cold).

Ministers arrived from many faiths offering to do ceremonies for free, some even tied knots on the steps of the County Building as cameras from all the networks captured the moment. Owners of beautiful vineyards and rental halls gave out their numbers saying they would be happy to host our receptions for free. It was an historic moment, and the community support was nothing short of amazing.

We had our civil ceremony two days later in our home with about two dozen friends present, including one of our County Commissioners who made the decision to offer marriage licenses to gays and lesbians. (Rick and she were classmates and study partners in law school.)

We will have a more traditional wedding ceremony with a reception afterwards on May 29 so our families and out of town friends can be here. We created a webpage for everyone covering the details at http://homepage.mac.com/rmfpdx/wedding. We still have to finish sending out all the invitations, and I have some work to do with a florist friend of mine on the decorations, but then we will be all set.

We are very excited to share this day with our family and friends. My parents and most of my brothers and sisters are coming, and several of Rick's brother's are coming, but his parents will not be coming (something to do with this conservative religion... I think it's called Mor... Morons... or something like that). We expect about 100 people to attend, including current and former work associates, college friends, Affirmation friends, haunted house friends, and some members of our families.

We're both very happy. I told Rick that "finally...after 18 years of waiting, I can at long last let myself go. I've been saving myself all this time, but now that we're officially married I'm going to sit on the couch all day and eat chocolates!"

Hugs,

Henry