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Marcel

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Affirmation Australia: A Voice from Down Under
"I hope that all Gay Mormons who need us will realise that Affirmation is here for them”

by Marcel
March 2007

Marcel is the coordinator of Sydney Gay Mormons. This is the third in a series of articles showcasing the international face of Affirmation.

My involvement with Affirmation Australia began back in 1990, when I saw an ad for gay Mormons in a gay magazine. The advertisement took me by such surprise that I can remember re-reading it several times just to check it actually said what I thought it said. I even remember trying to look for typos and to work out what it might have meant to say, because surely my eyes were playing tricks on me. I sent a letter to the address in Sydney and waited anxiously for a response. Anyway, this is not about me, it's about our little happy gay LDS family living Down Under. (Okay... so it's a little bit about me as well.)

At the time of stumbling across the advertisement I was living in Brisbane, the capital city of the state of Queensland—a 1.5 hour flight north of Sydney. It was exciting to make contact with someone from Sydney, albeit via mail—and for some reason it made me feel less alone even though I knew several other gay and lesbian LDS members in Brisbane. Because I was living in a different state, there was no real support group and the gay and lesbian members I knew didn't talk about "gay stuff”—we were all trying to live the way the Church wanted us to live. It was this need to live as the Church wanted me to, which ended up severing my connection with Affirmation, probably about 18 months after I first made contact.

I eventually stopped attending Church in the second half of 1998 and came out to my family in the January of 1999. However, given my family's reaction to my revelation—even though they all said they "always knew I was gay”—my interest in the Church seriously waned. I wouldn't say that I became bitter towards the LDS Church, I don't think I ever have been—in fact, I've avoided that because I know it is important to people that I love. However, I did feel that I needed to completely remove it from my life, but being raised in the Church it still seemed to be part of me.

I guess it was around 2002 when I first started to understand that the LDS Church helped shape me as much as my sexuality had. I can recall being attracted to other boys from my earliest recollections, so I knew that being gay was innate. So, I was faced with two cultures: being gay and being Mormon—the former was always part of me, and the latter was something I had learned. However, both played an important part in shaping my life and defining who I am.

Sydney Gay Mormons

With this realisation I began to search the Net for others like me. I had lost the address of the Affirmation Australia contact I’d met in 1990, but thankfully bumped into a Yahoo group created by a returned missionary from Adelaide (the capital city of South Australia). I joined this group and made some great friends, but it eventually folded. Although the group had no official connection with Affirmation, once again it gave me that sense that I wasn't alone and felt that connection with others like me.

It wasn't long before I stumbled upon the Affirmation website and discovered that another Australian gay LDS group had been set up through Yahoo. This time the group had a more formal relationship with Affirmation. The leader at that time had been in close contact with several Affirmation members. So I came full circle and found my way back to Affirmation. A year or so later, the leader relocated to the United Kingdom and I inherited the role as moderator of the Sydney Gay Mormons group.

We were small in number, but it wasn’t long before the membership began to grow. For a while a separate group was created in Brisbane, but the members of that group also belonged to the Sydney Gay Mormons group. It was planned to have a group in each capital city, but the Brisbane group folded, and we are now left with the Sydney group as the default national Affirmation chapter.

We currently have around 40 members from all across Australia and some international members as well. The international members include Australians living abroad, international students who lived in Australia for a while, returned missionaries who served in Australia... and a couple of members who just love Aussies. A documentary on national television about comedian Sue-Ann Post's visit to an Affirmation conference resulted in a large influx of members joining the group. I hope they broadcast the program again in the near future so we can reach more people out there.

Given that our group is so geographically separated—remembering that Australia is roughly the same size as the United States—it's hard to have activities that include everyone. The majority of our members live in Brisbane and Sydney, and as such the majority of social events happen in those two cities. Visitors from interstate (or overseas) are often a good motivation to plan something—so let us know if you're coming Down Under.

Basically the Australian group functions as a first contact for gay and lesbian Mormons who are in search of someone like them; someone to help them make sense of it all. Sometimes members join the group and remain silent and then leave—I guess similar to what I did all those years ago. I hope that one day, if they need us again, they will realise that Affirmation is here for them.

Gays/lesbians in Australia are basically free to live openly as gay/lesbian—although acceptance is much greater in the larger metropolitan cities. Australia has always been a very liberal and open-minded country with a very diverse population. However, in terms of equal rights for gays and lesbians, we are sadly quite (embarrassingly) conservative. A couple of years ago the Federal Marriage Act was amended to preclude gay marriage. However, some cities have developed a civil union register—but this does not provide all the legal rights which are attached to marriage. The fight continues to legalise gay marriage, but I fear it may be a long and hard-fought battle.

Last year I attended my first Affirmation conference in Portland, Oregon. Again I felt that sense of belonging. Unfortunately, due to other commitments, I wasn't able to attend the conference until the Sunday —the last day— but I still managed to meet some WONDERFUL people and have a great time. I was able to enjoy the feeling of belonging, love, and acceptance—something I never felt at church. I hope I get to come to the conference again this year in Washington DC, so I can enjoy that same wonderful feeling again. I also hope I am able to share that feeling with the people who seek out Affirmation in Australia.